"This conversation is older than my children"

"This conversation is older than my children" said a colleague from 15 yrs ago when we met recently.

Did I laugh - oh boy did I laugh. Although you know we often laugh when things have landed and have real meaning for us. It was true - the statement I mean. I had just given an excuse for not doing something that I'd been using since I first met him about the time this picture was taken.

The interesting thing is of course the story I was telling myself wasn't true - they very rarely are. You know the type of story:

I can't do that

It wont work

I'll only fail

etc etc

Having the 'story' held up for what it was stopped me in my tracks. It now acts as a great reminder ever time I try to retell the story that the only person who believes it is me. Since it's not helping me achieve what I want in life I have a choice keep it and keep getting what I've always got or ditch it and see what happens.

Will you join me in ditching the stories that no longer support your growth?

Alison
Alison Smith
Ensuring the stories procurement teams tell about themselves are helpful

Comparisons

I was asked today for a copy of a story I'd written and thought I'd share it here too.

Here's the first few para's and then a link to the full version (It's a short story so only 2 pages long).

“iPhone iPhone in my hand who is the fairest in the land” Eleanor said out loud hoping against all hope that the answer would be “Eleanor is the fairest in the land” and was therefore very disappointed when the answer was someone in Norway she’d never heard of.

Like a lot of people Eleanor had been delighted when a new iPhone application has been launched. It was a comparison application but instead of comparing prices it compared skills and attributes. Within a week she’d discovered that she didn’t have the thinnest ankles, the glossiest hair, the whitest teeth or the most perfect breasts. She’d also discovered that she wasn’t the best nonfiction writer, communication trainer, motivational speaker or career coach. With every question she asked she found out that someone else was better than her. Her mood therefore took a huge turn for the worse and friends and family got very wary of speaking to her. Nothing they said seemed to make any difference. In fact it made matters worse because when they listed something they thought she excelled in – she just asked the iPhone and it gave her the name of someone else. To her every name was more evidence that she wasn’t good at anything even if she didn’t always agree with the answer the phone gave. To Eleanor there was a whole world out there better at everything than her with better skills, better minds and certainly better bodies. Whenever she thought she might have found a question that would give her the answer she craved she was always disappointed – the best bathroom went to a couple in Hong Kong and even the cleanest small bedroom window facing west (when she’d started to clutch at straws) went to a man in Canada.

Continued

Seek first to know yourself

Self awareness is the first step in emotional intelligence and it's certainly the first step when wanting to change things when you're not happy with your life. Without self awareness how would you know where to start? How would you know for example:

* The truth of the current situation
* What impact fear is having on the current outcome
* What beliefs you have that may be helping or hindering you
* How your language is impacting how you're feeling
* Whether you need to push a head or pull back
* What you get passionate about
* Whether what you get passionate about is aligned with those around you
* What you're motivated towards (pleasure) or away from (the pain)
* Whether you're better working with others on the changes you want to make, or
* If you're better doing it on your own, and
* Which of mind, body, heart and soul is the best place to start.

Understanding your answers to the questions above will certainly make life easier if you're wanting to make changes.

Alison Smith
Helping Purchasing Relationships become more self aware
This blog is part of a series of blogs on making changes when life is just getting you down. Here's the first in the series I wrote earlier in the month.