Just simply walk the talk when talking

I went to a conference at the weekend and the insight after the second speaker is likely to change how I speak, teach and even write in social media.

When we arrived we had time to visit the exhibition stands. We weren't there long however. The sale pitches offering us "miracle cures" were simply too much and drove us in the opposite direction.

A little later the first speaker stood up and continued the theme telling us all about their "revolutionary" "magic" "new" "wonderful" "innovate" process. The process wasn't many of those, and yet if I'm honest the premise upon which it's based is nearer my current thinking than the next speaker's. If they'd got the tone right they'd have been pushing on an open door. After all they were talking about things that were well within my comfort zone. The evangelical tone, the need to be right and yes even their ego just got in the way of the message.

The second speaker was talking on a subject out of my sphere of experience and comfort zone - eating raw foods (to the exclusion of the cooked variety). However my experience of what she said was so different. She simply offered her beliefs as just that. They weren't "new" "exciting" or "something not to be missed" they were just beliefs she used to make decisions in her life. She then just explained how she's managed to apply these beliefs to her daily life. Allowing us, I'd suggest, to pick and choose what we might like to take away from her speech.

The message for me was clear - we simply need to walk our talks and share it in ways that allow others to have different opinions. Being evangelical, getting on our soap boxes and ramming it down other's throats and pointing out the error of people's ways wont get us far. As a strategy it will undoubtedly drive away those who may find what we have to share of use if only we'd let go of the need to be right.

I then found this quote in a book I was reading 'act and be as though how you are dictates that everyone else will be that same way' by Kant. So if honesty is your thing you just need to be honest and expect others to be honest not start telling the world about how dishonest the world is.

I said I'd got a lot from the day - lets see whether you think the tone of my blogs/tweets have changed as a result.

Create a great day

Alison
Helping procurement walk

Landscaping Your Life Principles

The following list is included on many posters and suggests its origins come from the native american culture and is often titled:

The Ten Indian Commandments

Treat the earth and all that dwell thereon with respect

Remain close to great spirit

Show great respect for your fellow beings

Work together for the benefit of all mankind

Give assistance and kindness wherever needed

Do what you know to be right

Look after the well being of mind & body

Dedicate a share of your efforts to the greater good

Be truthful and honest at all times

Take full responsibility for your actions

Irrespective of who really first said them, if we connected in this way with the landscape and others on this planet of ours, then I certainly think we'll find our connection within more easily. Do join me on my Landscaping Your Life facebook page where I share more on the process that uses landscapes as metaphors for life. Although I'm starting to think that perhaps landscapes are really a mirror for our lives not simply a metaphor.

Image used from The History of Pachakamak

Are we each any better than the NOTW?

On the one hand I join with others in outrage at the actions of some News of the World employees and contractors regarding phone hacking. On the other I wonder at our ability to forget we're often no different. Don't we, just like the NOTW, keep quiet until it's no longer feasible - whether that's in personal, commercial, national, international or global interests.

Apparently the phone hacking took place 6 years ago - yet it's only now that anything has happened. Many people must have been involved and many more must have known about it and yet no one said anything - and not just Rebekah Brooks.

It's as if a blind eye is turned until someone else gathers irrefutable evidence and/or we realise others agree with us and public opinion is on our side that we take action. It's as if when the game is finally over we suddenly start speaking up! Until that time we'll keep quiet along with everyone else.

I'm very sad about the amount of time and media space taken on this story when there are many others that have more far reaching and significant impacts. I'd like to hope that this story signifies a change in people speaking up - I suspect however that it's the very fact that speaking up isn't personally impacting those doing it that nothing will change :-(

Vision, optimism, honesty & leadership

Dangerous things tweets...... I tweet to say I’m off to do some #solstice scene setting for the year ahead and Charlie tweets back asking if I’ll share it on HRZONE ... so don’t blame me that’s all I can say...

There’s a number of times a year when I take the opportunity to review where I’m at. How I do that depends on which aspect of my life I’m looking at. Sometimes I might do a collage, paint a plate or just go for a walk. Other times the templates might come out as I dive into some business or strategic planning tool. And other times I’ll get the cards out .....

Today the cards in question are from the Frameworks for change Coaching Process but could quite as easily include other business or non business cards sets. Using cards can be a great way to tap into our inner wisdom to provide insight to the current situation. ‘Acting as if’ the cards do relate to the situation is what allows us to creatively explore the solution to an issue.

If you want to find out more about the process then read notes from a group session here otherwise join me as I ‘act as if’ the cards chosen will provide some insight for me for the next 6 months. At the same time you may notice insights as you read my story and experience your own relationship with the cards.

Vision: As I think about this card it reminds me to get my head up from all the paper, lists, objectives, goals, KPI’s, the cash flow forecast and all the rest and get in touch with the VISION of where I’m headed. If I was coaching myself I’d be asking what would it look, sound and feel like. And as I do that, even very quickly, I realise it’s very much about head up from PC and looking out and connecting with the world. Might not mean much to you but it certainly does to me.

Optimism: I do know optimism will help but when we get a card it’s not about what we already know or are doing. We explore but what else we could be doing. So for me this is about remembering the physiology that helps me be more optimistic. I’m not sure the amount of time spent hunched over my pc of recent months really means I’ve been in an optimistic physiology much of the time. Must remember to sit up, shoulders back, head up and remember to move more often.

I spent time wallowing in a state of negativity and unexpressed resentment: (yes the card set includes setbacks too) ouch - there’s certainly a theme going on - so what more is there to be gleaned from this card that’s not already been covered? *Pause as I think a little* For me I wonder if it’s the wallowing aspect of the card. An image of hippos comes to mind – do they wallow – I imagine it’s a great effort to do anything fast and perhaps they’d just prefer to stay where they are and do what they’ve been doing even if it’s not the cleanest water or a little deeper than they’d like. Mmm... so yes perhaps an antidote to ‘wallowing’ is needed and another reminder to get my head up.

Honesty: (I’ve shared my personal response to cards in blogs and newsletters many times and often think I could just put a card back but never do and share in the belief that others will benefit too however uncomfortable this might be for me – thanks Charlie :-)). Although on reflection not too bad really as I think it’s honesty with myself. Perhaps I have just been wallowing and need to be honest to myself about that and take myself more forcefully in hand and get the body moving. After all it’s me who has the ability to make any changes not anyone else.

Leadership: What I’m reminded of here is how I feel when I’m facilitating a group and the leaderships skills that I use then. It feels like I use these skills on behalf of others when coaching, facilitating or consulting but just manage myself through all those lists and KPI’s etc! What would I do differently if I was applying leadership to my own life not just trying to manage it? That certainly sounds different.

I’ll certainly let you know how I get on with being more open to vision, optimism, honesty & leadership over coming weeks and months. Do share any insights you had for yourself as you read the blog.

Transforming purchasing relationships with vision, optimism, honesty & leadership

Alison

The process, the insight, setback and mentor cards used here are from the Frameworks for Change coaching process © Innerlinks - www.innerlinks.com.

Who takes ownership of business communications

In my last blog entry and in a couple of LinkedIn groups I issued a challenge to 'say it is as it is'.

It's interesting that whilst the example I used was a business one people suggested using caution when 'saying it as it is' personally. Quite rightly I was told that we don't just share an opinion with others without first considering the validity of them needing to hear our opinion nor consider their feelings. Empathy and rapport were both mentioned when considering the timing, words, tone and way in which the opinions are shared.

It made me wonder if that's what's missing in business communications? It's all too easy for someone to send out a company missive and hide behind the anonymity e.g:

* You're flight's been delayed by 3 hours and can't tell you any more.
* You're on the aircraft and the doors are closed but we're not taking off for 2 hours.

As soon as we spoke to a person - at the desk or the pilot - the message changed. There was certainly more empathy and rapport.

I'm not sure what the answer is but something to consider when asking business to say it as it is.

Say it as it is - campaign for 2010

I'm typing this from the runway, near enough anyway as I am on the plane. I arrived at 05.00 and it's now nearly 6 hours later and I'm still at the same airport even if on a different flight to a different airport!!!

Not a lot any airline can do about the impact of snow on their ability to land aircraft safely. A lot an airline can do on how they choose to communicate to their travellers. I've had 2 different experiences so far this morning.

The first is the type I'm sure we'll all used to - corporate lines, half truths to reduce the potential costs or negative response from the customers. Or even worse being told what they think you want to hear rather than the truth. Frustrating to be at the receiving end of and no use to enable us to make decisions or understand why we're not getting the service we expect.

The second is the refreshing type of saying is as it is. The BMI Captain on BD053 this morning did just that. "Sorry we're not going anywhere - this is why and more importantly this is why we've boarded you and what we need to do to increase our chances of getting an earlier departure time. Yes that has repercussions on the options you have but it's a choice I've had to make." WOW - that's honesty - thank you. And I think has meant we're still here 2 hours later and relatively calm.

I certainly aim to operate from 'saying it as it is'. It's not always easy and I often get told that I shouldn't be so open. That is the clients don't need to know the choices we've had to make nor problems we might be having. I disagree not least because people have a 'flannel/waffle' filter and know even if unconsciously they're not getting told everything. Which can lead to unwarranted mistrust or worse.

So my call for action today is to 'say it is as it is', congratulate those who do and let those who don't know that you'd appreciate their honesty and openness.

You can never be too authentic

I am proud to say I will be representing Scotland in the Professional Speakers Association xfactor :-) in London in November as a result of winning the heat last night. Which I'm very excited about.

Some of the feedback included how uncomfortable some businesses audiences might have been about the level of disclosure in a personal story - ie too much emotion.

Over a celebrationary drink after I realised that by not sharing as much of the story as I could the audience hadn't been as able to identify with it. So many had just felt it was me bearing all with no relevance to them. Had I gone into the story more and shared the impact on my work and life rather than just stay at the emotional level I'd have engaged them completely.

So rather than pull back from sharing with people tell your story deeper so others can really understand how it relates to them.