Do you want work/life balance or life balance?

Like many people I'd always used the term 'work/life balance' until I applied a tool I use in coaching to myself and realised the term I was using was half the problem, for me anyway, and that was because of the images using that term painted for me and the impact they then had on my stress levels.

At the start of the session my goal was to understand what I needed to do it ‘have work/life balance’. As I wrote at the time 'like a lot of people I never seem to have enough time and energy to do everything. I feel like I’m a hamster in its wheel. In fact I have two wheels, one wheel for work and one for the rest of my life.' Stress then came from trying to balance both wheels. When on one wheel I worried about the other and vice verse.

Just writing that down seemed to shift something. I realised, for me, balance would only be achieved when I only had one wheel to manage. Thus 'having life balance’ allowed me to, even if only metaphorically, have more control over my life and what I chose to do with it.

I'd be interested in the metaphors you have for life or work/life balance and wonder how those metaphors may help in understanding what needs to change to simply reduce the internal stress of trying to manage it all.

Alison

Alison Smith
Helping individuals and teams stay on track by finding balance
alison@alisonsmith.eu 07770 538159

I've shared more on life balance on this blog too using Susan Jeffesr model as a base.

Well Being

Source: grainedit.com via Karen on Pinterest

6 weeks ago I set you some homeplay for the weekend to notice the impact how you were feeling had on those around you and what you wanted to do that weekend and in life generally.

My invitation to journey with me as I've blogged since has been about not waiting until you've smashed up a shop (of the cup cake or any other variety), or you're signed off with stress or your relationships are falling apart to make the necessary changes.

I certainly didn't want anyone believing the stories they tell themselves about not making the changes - you know the ones - it's my age, I can't, it's too late or even it won't change anything! In short if we don't have the energy to do what we need or want to do every day something has to change! and we can do it! you can do it!

The suggestions on changes to be made are certainly known to us all. Unless I'm unique, I know the challenge is following through on the logic. As I found to my embarrassment today when, having realised I still wasn't eating enough of the right things to sustain what I'm up to on daily basis, my personal trainer decided to abandon the fitness element of my session and go look in the fridge to help me 'see' the healthy options that lay within!!

The changes I've invited you to consider over the 6 weeks have included:

• Mind: Putting yourself first


• Mind: Understanding yourself


• Mind: Changing what your telling yourself


• Body: Reviewing your diet


• Body: Having enough sleep


• Body: Getting your body moving - esp on the days when it's the last thing you want to do


• Heart: Asking for help


• Heart: Letting go of the past


• Spirit: Finding our legacy

I hope something I've said during these blogs has triggered something for you to help you understand what changes you might want to make and/or what changes you may be able to support others in your life with.

Helping purchasing relationships find well being because it starts with the individual.

Alison

Alison Smith
07770 538159 alison@alisonsmith.eu

What's your addiction?

and I'm not talking about the obvious. I'm talking about the things you find yourself compelled to do and not stop even if they impact your health, relationships, work and/or other aspects of your life negatively (in the opinion of others anyway)?

Perhaps it's time to face my own addictions I don't know but the last week has been full of people who seem to be addicted to something that is impacting their ability to have the life they want. Here's a sample:

• I exchanged emails with an ex colleague yesterday who had been so addicted, my words not his, to driving fast that he'd been banned twice and was in danger of killing himself if he continued.
• A friend can't leave the house without a coffee and has used words such as "it helps me cope with the day" even though she knows that it impacts her health in other less positive ways.
• Someone tweeted from their bed last night before they went to sleep and then again as they woke this morning.
• I'm seriously thinking of deleting solitaire off my iPhone because once I start I can't stop "just one more".

and more generally what about:

• The frequency we check our emails, twitter, blog etc
• The burning desire to hoover the house or clean the car :-)
• The many hours we watch TV
• etc etc

These behaviours provide us with something that we want - pleasure. Which in it self isn't a bad thing until we realise:

• that over time what provides us with that pleasure has diminished and therefore we need to do more in order to get the same level of pleasure, or
• it's become such a habit that it no longer provides us with pleasure but we still keep doing it, or
• we've started to believe we can't survive without it.

What prompted this blog was the fast driving ex colleague who had found a way around his addiction by buying a vintage car that keeps his speed well below the limits.

Which had me thinking about my 'addictions' and what I believe they give me and how I may get that in more positive ways. I'll let you know how I get on.

But then I'm addicted to constantly finding things to resolve! and sharing them in the blog too :-)

Lay back and think of England!

From conversations recently I think that's how many of us are approaching life.

Before you disagree could you please just do an inventory of all areas of your life and confirm how many of them you're perfectly happy with.

Work?
Relationship?
Family?
Friends?
Health?
Fitness?
Home?
Hobbies?
Contribution?

How did you get on?

What I've noticed is we do really seem to put up with a lot of what should be unacceptable in our lives. We just say "That's life", "That's business", "That's relationships for you", "That's just the way it is" or even "That's old age for you."

I had a conversation a few weeks ago with someone who was putting their physical and emotional symptoms down to old age. The problem with that is old age doesn't go away and yet the symptoms could. I remember the new lease of life my dad got when at the age of 75 he got his first PC, or how much happier a friend was when she changed her eating habits, or another friend took up a hobby.

Please don't just lay back and think of England and put up with a life that's not making you happy. Identify the symptoms and then explore the opportunities to getting to the other side. There are always many more opportunities than you think.

and that's me now off on holiday for a PC free week - wooop woop

Helping you find passion in life

Alison
alison@alisonsmith.eu 07770 538159
www.alisonsmith.eu