True understanding of team work

There's a card in the FCP process I use that invites us to "break through your closed shell of isolation into a true understanding and experience of team work.”

When this came up in a session I facilitated we explored 3 aspects to the card:

breaking through the closed shell of isolation

true understanding of teamwork

true experience of teamwork

It’s certainly very difficult to keep on track if we isolate ourselves, so too if we experience teamwork where everyone operates in their own silos. I'd also suggest that knowing what we should be doing is different to actually taking all the necessary steps to make it happen.

What would breaking through your closed shell of isolation into a true understanding and experience of teamwork look, sound and feel like to you? What would you do doing, saying and hearing? How would it help in the current situation? What would you be doing differently?

enJoy
Alison

Alison Smith
Helping individuals, businesses and procurement experience team work and keep on track in 2012
alison@alisonsmith.eu 07770 538159

Thanks to the centre for teaching excellence for the photo - there's an interesting article on their website on teamworking skills and being an effective team member.
The insight used here is from the Frameworks for Change © Innerlinks

When someone says "Chocolate" what do you think of?

I was reminded of an exercise I use with groups when in a session with internal stakeholders of a procurement team last week.

In the exercise I ask everyone to write the first eight words that come to mind when they hear the word “chocolate”. They then spend some time comparing their answers with others in the room. There is a whole range of possible answers, that could include:

Milk, dark, bitter, bake, dog, buttons, sweet, good, bad, healthy, unhealthy, bar, biscuits, strawberries, cocoa, Fairtrade, relaxation, fountain, Labrador, sugar, hot, fattening, present, gift, orange, yucky, yummy.

The one word that seems to come up most often is milk, shared by about three-quarters of the group. The second most common word is usually shared with less than half of the people participating in the exercise. Very soon we’re looking at just a small percentage of people sharing a word. Sometimes someone may not share a single word with anyone in the room. Generally most people will have three or four associated words that are unique to them.

It’s clear that even for a simple word such as chocolate there are different things going on in our minds when we hear it. It’s this meaning to us that will impact our actions, reactions, words and behaviours and yet we often use words assuming a common understanding.

In last week’s meeting I realised every internal stakeholder in the room had a different interpretation for “procurement”. When the stakeholder heard the phrase “best practice procurement” their interpretation of procurement meant they thought they were already doing it. Continuing to use the word wasn’t going to change that so we had to start using new words that expanded their understanding.

New words that enabled them to understand in much more detail what was involved in the Initiate Project, Research & Analyse, Develop Strategy, Implement Strategy and Implement Contract steps.

The next time you’re not getting the response you’re expecting, it might be that they consider what you’re talking about to be yucky, not yummy.

Also blogged on Supply Management. Image from Dogs & Puppies

Nameste or Oel ngati kameie

Someone tweeted "Namaste" yesterday and I was reminded of my blog from a few years ago and wanted to share it again here today:

Nameste or Oel ngati kameie? Both of these are greetings and I wonder how different our relationships at work would be if we used them – although I would suggest that Namaste might be easier to say :-)

When you greet someone with hello what are you thinking about? I’d suggest very little. It’s often just a word at the top of an email or the start of the conversation and is simply a means to the rest of the conversation. I wonder if the other person even registers it.

When I watched the film Avatar I loved the Na’vi’s welcome “Oel ngati kameie” which translates as “I see you.” I see you feels to me like an appreciation of the person with whom we’re communicating. Surely such an appreciation would be a great way to start any conversation - in spirit if not word.

The Sanskrit word Nameste has a similar meaning. One translation I particularly like, although perhaps not strictly grammatically accurate, is “I honour the spirit in you.” On researching for this blog I realise there are other words that are used around the globe for hello which have similar meanings and these include Aloha, Shalom, Salaam etc.

I like that these start the conversation recognising and appreciating a connection between both/all parties. I just wonder what difference it would make if we used them more regularly at work - even just in our heads.

The responses to the blog at the time suggested that just remembering to say "good morning" could make as much difference and my response to that was:

It's perhaps not the word but the intent that matters. Hello can illicit the same response if said with meaning and a desire to connect as much as any of my other suggestions.

Au Revior (until we meet again here or in person)

What ends up in your personal junk folder

I tweeted recently that unless we follow people we disagree with our twitter feed is likely to represent and not challenge our view of the world. That’s no different in other areas of our life. That is what we pay attention to will normally support our worldview.

There’s approximately 2 billion pieces of data coming into our senses every second!! With that much data available it would be easy to get overloaded. It’s our Reticular Activating System (RAS) that acts as a filter – it’s a tracking system that brings to our attention data that it thinks is important to us. It’s basically a SPAM filter which bases its assessment of importance on if:

• It is important to our survival
• It is different or out of the norm
• It has emotional content for us personally
• It supports our beliefs
• It helps us achieve our goals

And everything else ends up in Junk mail.

This is why, once we set goals, we start to notice information that will help us achieve them – whether that’s useful information or people. Or why suddenly there are more cars the same as our new one on the road.

There’s much we can do to become more aware and even set our own SPAM filter to ensure we’re not missing vital information. I just wanted to remind you that your beliefs will determine what you notice. For example I bet you can give me recent examples of drivers of white van's (hijacking a common belief here in the UK about their bad driving for a moment) who were driving recklessly and didn’t notice the larger percentage of occasions where they were courteous.

How do your criteria need redefining to stop useful information going into your junk mail?

Helping you realise the potential of Procurement

Alison

alison@alisonsmith.eu 07770 538159

Speaker Authenticity - it's more than truth telling

Authenticity is something that is often mentioned as an aspiration of speakers. As a speaker myself and writing this to other speakers I think it’s useful to remember that we all judge others by our own definition. That is we each have our own definition, so too our colleagues, other speakers and audiences.

I’d suggest therefore that understanding our own and other’s views on authenticity may be useful. Without that understanding how can we ensure when speaking we avoid following others’ advice to become more authentic when that very action could make us less so.

This weekend I found myself tweeting the following in response to an exchange from other twits at @influence11 (see #nsa11) a conference of professional speakers in California:

alisonrbcm: challenge is that sometimes following others advice can take you away from being authentic and make it more 'manufactured'

alisonrbcm: wonder if telling it {the story} to be of service vs telling it to make more sales also makes a difference on authenticity felt by audience

alisonrbcm: something about congruency with self and not congruency with what we think we have to be to be accepted

These reflect the feeling I have that authenticity is more than simply truth telling, more than just not lying and yes even more than showing vulnerability. Looking on the internet for a definition I liked the one over on Wiki:

"Authenticity is the degree to which one is true to one's own personality, spirit, or character, despite these {external} pressures."

If this is true then it’s perhaps easier to see how we can determine whether we’re achieving this for ourselves – but how can we assess others against this? How can we know if someone is being true to their spirit? I’d love to know how YOU know.

For me my assessment has an energetic component ie where do I feel the speaker’s communication is coming from: ie their head, heart, spirit or body and where is it going to: ie my head, heart, spirit, back of the room or someplace else? Which is why I will disagree with many when I only feel the connection from the speaker’s head to mine rather than more deeply heart to heart or spirit to spirit.

I've raised a discussion in LinkedIn to share your thoughts - do join us there.

Stop the blame game - everyone is doing their best

Perhaps it's the coach in me but every time I hear someone blame the current situation on someone else I want to jump in and help them understand at least the inaccuracy of the language they're using.

"This is the 2nd time you've done this to me" in reality is "This is the 2nd time this has happened to me."

"They haven't even gritted the road" is really "The road didn't act nor look like it had been gritted recently."

"They should have been able to get the runways clear by now" would at least be "I believe they should have been able to get the runways clear by now."

Notice how the 'energy' changes in the alternative but more realistic statements. I know it's human nature to look to blame someone but that doesn't help our blood pressure, it certainly doesn't help the other person solve the problem and it certainly stops us understanding how we can help.

So next time, before you start to blame someone else for the situation, remember:

* People make the best choice they can at the time
* Every behaviour has a positive intent.

Alison
Stoping those in purchasing relationships from blaming others

There are 3 versions of the story!

The Lyrics from Shame the latest song from Robbie Williams and Gary Barlow starts with the words...

....."There are 3 versions of the story - mine, and yours and then the truth"

This is something that is often forgotten when we communicate with others. It's so easy to act and speak as if our 'story' is true. It's certainly our reality but it may not be the other persons - and neither interpretations may be strictly accurate.

There's a few things to consider when exploring the 'truth' of a situation:

1. We can't possibly take in 100% of the data available to us.
2. We therefore have to filter the data available.
3. The filters we use will be based on our Values, Beliefs, Memories and Preferences.
4. This process of filtering results in Deletion, Distortion or Generalisation of the situation.

On other words our representation of the situation is as imperfect as the next persons. The key in any communication is remembering this fact and ensuring that before any action is taken that common understanding has been achieved. Otherwise what you think you've asked someone to do may not be what gets delivered.

Alison
Enabling purchasing relationships to understand all versions of the story.

Great expectations

I heard an interview with Howard Jacobson the winner of the Man Booker Prize 2010 as I drove home last night. After being an early favourite to win he'd been relegated by the bookies to the bottom of the list. As a result of no longer having an expectation of winning he commented that he'd really enjoyed the evening - eating, talking, drinking etc. It came as a HUGE surprise therefore when he was announced as the winner.

I wonder how often our expectations - whether good or bad - get in the way of us enjoying the moment. Howard certainly suggested that if he'd know he was a possible winner he'd not have enjoyed the evening. It's sad that such a great day might have been marred by the expectations weighing so heavily.

On a similar vein my personal trainer had me doing 10/20/30/30/20/10 repetitions of a number of exercises this morning. The dread started with my first repetition - ie before the effects of the physical exertion kicked in. I certainly wasn't happy on one exercise when I thought I was on my 2nd set of 30 to find I was only on my first.

I can think of many other instances where my expectations - good or bad - have seriously impacted my life up until an outcome is known - and who knows may have even negatively impacted the outcome itself.

My call to action today is therefore for us to release our expectations and experience the moment and lets notice what we notice.

Alison
Ensuring judgements and expectations are released in purchasing relationships
http://www.alisonsmith.eu/ alison@alisonsmith.eu 07770 538159

Watch your language

I use aromatherapy oils to support me in staying alert and enthused during the day and relax in the evening. I've always felt uncomfortable with the one I use in the evening because it's called "Stress" which reminds me to ........ ahh yes get stressed - even though I know it contains oils aimed at relaxation.

I think the person who tweeted from World of Learning (#wolce10) today reminding us we need to concentrate on "well being" rather than "stress reduction" should speak to the originator of the stress oil. It would certainly be more conducive to relaxation if the name of the oil more closely resembled the desired outcome rather than current state.

I also read a blog today where the terms punishment and penalties were used in the same sentence as supplier relationship management. I don't know about you but most relationships I have don't include punishment and penalties. If they want to use such terms then can I suggest they change their desired outcome to that of a contratural arrangement. If it's a relationship they wish to foster then they may wish to rethink the language they're using.

What language are you using and does it support the outcome you want?

Alison
Developing common language within purchasing relationships
alison@alisonsmith.eu 07770 538159

It might look, feel or sound right to you - but what about to them?

The means of the communication is the response that we get. In other words if someone doesn't understand what we're saying or even worse has got angry about it often it's not the message they're reacting to but how we're communicating it.

When we communicate with others we often do so in a way that best works for us. However the person we're wishing to communicate to may have different preferences to us. If we don't change how we're communicating to them we'll therefore often miss the opportunity for them to truly understand our message - we might as well be speaking a foreign language.

The key is understanding the different preferences that exist and adapting our communication appropriately to reflect these. Here's just a few suggestions on the different types of preferences we have.
NB Someone's language and behaviour will often give their preference away once we start paying attention to it.

Look/Feel/Sound
Are they more visual, auditory or kinaesthetic. If visual we'll certainly get a better response if we provide a picture or diagram than a 10 page report. Pay attention to the words used too.
If auditory - words such as clarity, harmony, question, tell etc will resonate with the person.
If visual - words such as vision, focus, insight, perspective etc will provide more clarity.
If Kinaesthetic - words such as feel, flow, balance, hold will enable them to grasp what you're saying.

Achievement/Affiliation/Power
Which of these motivates the person the most. It's certainly worth remembering not to tell someone who's motivated by achievement that what they are doing will help them bond with the team. They want to hear words like success, results, aim, goal etc. Affiliation people want to hear words like harmony, support, share, rapport etc. Those motivated by power want to hear words like control, command, impact, influence etc. Well they do if they're motivated 'towards' these things. You'll have to use others words if they're really motivated 'away from' failure, being alone or weak!

Sameness/Difference
If someone looks for sameness then don't tell them all the ways the new system is different to the old one - tell them the similarities first. If they desire difference give it to them.

Options/Procedures
You'll certainly get resistance if you give a set of instructions to someone who has a preference for options and variety. Conversely telling someone who likes a procedure to be flexible may generate resistance instead.

Detail/Big Picture
Don't jump in with lots of details until you've determined whether they like it - many people only need to know the big picture in order to make a decision, many others want to know the big picture to get an idea of whether they want to hear the detail. Someone who likes details loves it and the more the better.

As our preferences come over in all our communications I wonder what preferences you think I may have? and how could I have changed what I said to make more sense for you?

Who takes ownership of business communications

In my last blog entry and in a couple of LinkedIn groups I issued a challenge to 'say it is as it is'.

It's interesting that whilst the example I used was a business one people suggested using caution when 'saying it as it is' personally. Quite rightly I was told that we don't just share an opinion with others without first considering the validity of them needing to hear our opinion nor consider their feelings. Empathy and rapport were both mentioned when considering the timing, words, tone and way in which the opinions are shared.

It made me wonder if that's what's missing in business communications? It's all too easy for someone to send out a company missive and hide behind the anonymity e.g:

* You're flight's been delayed by 3 hours and can't tell you any more.
* You're on the aircraft and the doors are closed but we're not taking off for 2 hours.

As soon as we spoke to a person - at the desk or the pilot - the message changed. There was certainly more empathy and rapport.

I'm not sure what the answer is but something to consider when asking business to say it as it is.

Say it as it is - campaign for 2010

I'm typing this from the runway, near enough anyway as I am on the plane. I arrived at 05.00 and it's now nearly 6 hours later and I'm still at the same airport even if on a different flight to a different airport!!!

Not a lot any airline can do about the impact of snow on their ability to land aircraft safely. A lot an airline can do on how they choose to communicate to their travellers. I've had 2 different experiences so far this morning.

The first is the type I'm sure we'll all used to - corporate lines, half truths to reduce the potential costs or negative response from the customers. Or even worse being told what they think you want to hear rather than the truth. Frustrating to be at the receiving end of and no use to enable us to make decisions or understand why we're not getting the service we expect.

The second is the refreshing type of saying is as it is. The BMI Captain on BD053 this morning did just that. "Sorry we're not going anywhere - this is why and more importantly this is why we've boarded you and what we need to do to increase our chances of getting an earlier departure time. Yes that has repercussions on the options you have but it's a choice I've had to make." WOW - that's honesty - thank you. And I think has meant we're still here 2 hours later and relatively calm.

I certainly aim to operate from 'saying it as it is'. It's not always easy and I often get told that I shouldn't be so open. That is the clients don't need to know the choices we've had to make nor problems we might be having. I disagree not least because people have a 'flannel/waffle' filter and know even if unconsciously they're not getting told everything. Which can lead to unwarranted mistrust or worse.

So my call for action today is to 'say it is as it is', congratulate those who do and let those who don't know that you'd appreciate their honesty and openness.

You, your audience and your message

I've 3 presentations to do this week and I've been working on all of them today.

I'm a business adviser for Young Enterprise at the local school and I've been asked to share presentation tips at a YE masterclass tomorrow. The 2nd presentation is for the Professional Speakers Association X-Factor on Wednesday and is entitled 'when you're up the creek without a paddle'. The 3rd is for a charity Ceilidh we've organised here in Edinburgh on Saturday and is about why we'll be in a sleeping bag for the night in Holyrood Park on 2nd October!

The key message throughout has been about remembering who my audience is and what message I want to convey. When I was practicing for the X-factor I realised, with Amy my coach's input, that I'd forgot about the 3rd factor - me. I'd got caught up in the content and structure of the presentation and had forgotten what makes me light up. If I can't tell the story in a way that connects with my passion it doesn't really matter what message I have nor who my audience is.

So my call for action today is to allow more of you to be seen by others in your communication with them. You never know what will happen!