Are you always or never late

Source: dougswordclock.com via Alison on Pinterest

If I was to ask "which of the following applies to you when arriving for appointments?" most of us would be able to find one that applies most often:

1. I'm ALWAYS early
2. I'm early 
3. I arrive just in time
4. I'm late
5. I'm ALWAYS late

I'd suggest I'm 3 most of the time with equal distribution for 2 (if I have no idea where I'm going) and 4 (if I get caught in traffic because I didn't allow much time for delays).

The fact is both 1's and 5's get frustrated with each other for different reasons. 1's will think that 5's don't respect them because they're late, 5's think 1's are being over sensitive. Both will certainly think they're belief about the other is right. And from their worldview they're both right.

In NLP there's 2 descriptions used for our relationship to time which help explain this difference:

• In-Time - where you're living in the present fully experiencing what's happening in the moment 
• Thru-Time- where you're viewing time from a distant - thinking ahead to the future or back about the past

Those who arrive early I would suggest are likely to be Thru-Time - thinking ahead about what they need to do to get to the meeting on time but they may be seen to be distracted in an earlier meeting. Those who are late are likely to be In-time - fully present and in rapport with those in a previous meeting but not aware of the time and approaching next meeting.

We each have a preference for which style we use most but the key is being able to be flexible and switch between them as appropriate. I'd also suggest we need to realise when we've got stuck in one mode and take action, as I think I demonstrated in my 'Hare or Tortoise' blog based on my 4 day adventure on the farm recently. When I went from Thru-time Hare to In-Time Tortiose.

Alison Smith
Helping procurement work in and thru time appropriately

Make 2010 a year to remember

Flexibility - Values - Optimism - are the keys.

Well they were at the discussion I facilitated this morning at a 4n networking event on the above and I've like to share the highlights with you.

I do have access to a number of different tools to help set goals for 2010. However a comment at the Transformation game I facilitated at the weekend reminded me that we'll have a year to remember when we get our way of 'being' right!

With that thought in mind I didn't share my 7 step out of the creek process nor the NLP Well Formed Outcome process (although links to both can be found on the RHS of this blog). Instead I used the Frameworks for change Coaching Process (FCP - again see RHS for explanation of the process) and invited my audience to participate and find their own connections with the cards. Which you might like to do before I share mine:

Mentor: Flexibility
Insight: I model my values at work
Setback: "If I'm not winning, I find it hard to celebrate anyone else's success"
Insight: I'm willing to bear the discomfort involved in shifting perspective
Mentor: Optimism

Flexibility: To be open to make changes and think and act differently. What do you need to do to be more flexible?

I model my values at work: Do you really? What would that mean? I got tearful when facilitating today because this is something I feel strongly about and yet it gives me the most challenge. Can I walk my talk as I talked about in my last newsletter? Can I say NO to work because it doesn't align with my values even when the bank balance says YES!! What about you - what are you being asked to do to ensure you model your values at work?

"If I'm not winning - I find it hard to celebrate anyone else's success": We discussed the impact on us of others in communities or organisations saying this? If a business' sole focus is on sales that they're not getting how easy is it within that business to celebrate anything? The setback is the negative impact and spiral down that can have on everyone in the business. In some respects if we're not winning the best thing for morale is to start celebrating others successes. At least that will get everyone in the right mindset.

I'm willing to bear the discomfort involved in shifting perspective: Which is what we have to be able to do if things aren't working out for us. A mindset that allows us to stay positive and be flexible to make the necessary changes - even if it can be uncomfortable.

Optimism: For 2010 to be a year to remember we certainly need to be optimistic about that being a realistic outcome. Without optimism we might was well give up now and I for one know 2010 will be a year to remember -for all the right reasons.

What way of being do you need to embrace to ensure 2010 is a year to remember?