All you need is some extra motivation

My favourite phrase is by Guillaume Apollinaire and says:

"Come to the edge" he said.
They said "We are afraid"
"Come to the edge" he said.
They came. He pushed them.
And they flew.

This quote has never been so apt as it was this morning as I watched fledgling seagull twins (see picture of them with one parent) as they were fed by their parents. They’ve not long left their nest and for the next few weeks they will spend much of the time on the ground being fed by their parents as they learn to fly. As in previous years their initial flying attempts are over walls and more hop like than flight and will go on for many days/weeks as their confidence and flying and feeding skills develop.

This morning I realised, however, that they could perhaps fly sooner if they had sufficient motivation. A third chick appeared and the parents of the twins made it very clear it was not welcome and were attacking it. I could not believe the flight this chick then took – over the road, over gardens aerial acrobatics at it’s very best as it was chased by one of the parents.

I wonder how often in life we all need that extra motivation to get moving?

Are we each any better than the NOTW?

On the one hand I join with others in outrage at the actions of some News of the World employees and contractors regarding phone hacking. On the other I wonder at our ability to forget we're often no different. Don't we, just like the NOTW, keep quiet until it's no longer feasible - whether that's in personal, commercial, national, international or global interests.

Apparently the phone hacking took place 6 years ago - yet it's only now that anything has happened. Many people must have been involved and many more must have known about it and yet no one said anything - and not just Rebekah Brooks.

It's as if a blind eye is turned until someone else gathers irrefutable evidence and/or we realise others agree with us and public opinion is on our side that we take action. It's as if when the game is finally over we suddenly start speaking up! Until that time we'll keep quiet along with everyone else.

I'm very sad about the amount of time and media space taken on this story when there are many others that have more far reaching and significant impacts. I'd like to hope that this story signifies a change in people speaking up - I suspect however that it's the very fact that speaking up isn't personally impacting those doing it that nothing will change :-(

When did you last turn your mobile off?

..and I mean for more than an hour for a meeting? Asking people this question has generated such a great response with lots of "Yes ...but" excuses and yes I mean excuses. Is anything so important 365 days a year to mean we can't have just one day without access to the phone?

I went to Islay the other weekend and had 5 days without turning on my PC. Yes no LinkedIn, no Twitter and no blog for 5 days!! However despite intermittent reception I never turned my mobile off - now that would have been a step too far!!

However it was in one remote part of the island where I could hear nothing except nature (water, wind, seals, birds etc) that I finally got it. I could feel myself letting go of all the constant doing and I relaxed and of course life seemed a lot different from this more grounded place.

The first step out of the creek is Stop and it really means STOP. Take time to ground and feel connected to nature and the living world around you. It's only then that you can be certain that decisions made are not based on fear.

So if your response to me suggesting you turn your phone off is "that's cool and a great idea" you don't really need to. If your response involves any excuses I'd suggest you do.

F.E.A.R

Cavemen were afraid of things that threatened their physical survival. Afraid in dangerous situations that really did have a potential for death e.g. attacks by wild animals or other humans etc. They saw the animal coming towards them and expected an outcome based on past evidence. In turn this generated the reactions that enabled them to respond most effectively with the danger – fight, flight or freeze. This response was however only short lived and only so long as the danger was present.

In modern times there are real dangers too e.g. we get into cars most days and join others on increasingly busy roads, we take up extreme sports, guns and knives are more common than most of us would like and alcohol and drug abuse can lead to many crimes being committed. So there are still real dangers where fight, flight or freeze are appropriate responses. Again these dangers pass – the speeding car narrowly misses you or you land safely with your parachute.

Today we also have a fear of many things that aren’t dangerous and don’t threaten our survival. Fear of: failure, success, public speaking, vulnerability, of being hurt emotionally and so on. Yet they still generate the same fight, flight or freeze response in us. Unlike with real danger, we often sustain the fear for extended periods and this takes its toll as our body is on standby, often for months, to fight or flee.

So how do we release the impact these fears are having on us? There are a number of techniques that enable us to go back to when we first learnt the fear and release it there in the past. Another suggestion is to remember that in these examples F.E.A.R simply stands for False Expectations Appearing Real.

If I stand up in front of an audience I can expect that I will forget my lines, everyone will laugh at me or I’ll fall over or even pass out but these generally have no basis in reality. So the fear generated is not based on reality and very rarely based on evidence either.

So next time you feel the fear write down your expectations or share them with others will help you understand the expectations you’re reacting to and help you see how unlikely and unrealistic they are.