The title may have given it away - I didn't win the SFactor (XFactor for speakers) competition on Friday at the PSA convention. Congratulations and very well done to Simon Bucknall who did. My reaction and subsequent learning however would never have been available if I had won and that was worth much more to me.
At the end of the heat in Scotland in Sept I was really happy with how I'd performed. I knew it could be improved but I was happy I'd done my best. In the final on Friday I knew I hadn't and went into the familiar pattern of beating myself up for not being 'perfect'. Only minutes before I'd been speaking to someone and was in the zone. How did I so quickly lose that feeling when I stood up?
The speech by Alvin Law (http://www.alvinlaw.com/) that night helped me understand. I'd made it about me and not my audience.
Whilst practicing I had envisaged sharing what steps to take when you're 'Up the creek without a paddle' with my audience. I'd envisaged the words being of help and service to others and them being able to get out of the creek as a result. On the night that went out the window - or should that be up the creek! I'd even written here inmy blog and in the recent PSA magazine about our energy when we speak. I talked about grounding, connecting and communicating and yet I didn't fully walk my talk. My thoughts weren't on the audience they were on me winning, me beating others, me feeling nervous, me doing a good job, me using it to promote what I do - me me me me me!
Is this a pattern I can fall into when speaking - Yes. Would I have understood that when I heard Alvin speak later if I'd thought for one moment I'd nailed my speech earlier in the evening - No. There's a card in a process I use when coaching clients that says 'Vulnerability is the perfect protection'. I believe that the vulnerability I felt by not doing my best on Friday meant I was able to hear a message that will truly enable me to connect and make a difference in the future.
I didn't win the competition but the learning I got was the real win for me. So next time you think you've lost look for the real win and you might be surprised.
2 comments:
Yup, learned the same lesson myself. When I saw the video clip of myself I thought, "Who's that hammy, wooden performer?"
Boy, it's so hard being yourself.
:-) I know what you mean. Many of my blogs, newsletters and stories I've written address the desire to follow others and do what we think we should, must and ought to do. Even though flow and ease comes from doing the opposite.
We just need to trust all will be very well when being ourselves.
Post a Comment