Keeping on track in 2012

Wellbeing Champions

2012-01-13T08:24:00.007Z

Earlier this week I tweeted that 'it's in all the ways we can't see that we make the biggest difference'.

Is our quest for wellbeing any different. Whilst we can educate, inform, blog and even provide policies that support wellbeing, is it enough to inspire others to be motivated to make the necessary changes? For me it’s all the small things we do and are seen to do that provide the inspiration. As I was reminded before Christmas when someone sent me a note to say ‘you inspire me to live more healthily’. I know this comes from how I am in the world and in all the small things I tweet/blog/chat and share photo's about (as above) rather than the work I get paid to do.

In any organisation, therefore, the key is identifying those individuals who influence others behaviours and ensuring they are seen to be demonstrating the behaviours that support wellbeing. Many organisations won’t stand a cat in hells chance of having wellbeing if those with the most influence ignore and override the signs of stress, have no life balance, don’t take their holiday’s, skip lunch, live on adrenaline and coffee when adrenaline is lacking and/or are known to consume a week’s allowance of alcohol every Friday night?

Who are your wellbeing champions – and how can you ensure they are able to express how they achieve wellbeing rather than hide it?

Alison

Alison Smith
Helping procurement teams find balance and wellbeing and keep on track

TRUST in the Toolkit for 2012

2012-01-09T17:51:00.019Z

Yesterday I added Excellence into the toolkit for 2012 based on Cirque Du Soleil's way of being in everything that they do. Today I'd like to put TRUST into the toolkit.

It's obvious in the picture above and this wonderful video, both from Cirque Du Soleil, that the performers are required to put 100% trust in their colleagues - both those on and off stage.

Having just finished my own personal training session I realise that they also have to trust themselves. My personal trainer has just added another 5kg to my weights and I was certainly doubting my ability to do the exercise. The negative chatter started as I told myself:

I can't do this

I'll drop it

I'll hurt myself

I'll fail

My personal trainer trusted I'd be able to do it. It was just lack of trust in myself that was generating the less than positive thoughts. Which, of course, in turn made what I was doing so much more difficult.

But something changed today, and that's because I didn't grumble to my personal trainer, I didn't give voice to my doubts, I simply told myself I could do it and got on with it. And in so doing realised:

I can do this

I can keep hold of it

I can stay safe

I can and will succeed

How is lack of trust in yourself stopping you achieving your goals and what do you need to stop telling yourself to succeed?

Alison

Alison Smith
Helping you trust yourself and stay on track in 2012
#2012toolkit

Your Toolkit for 2012

2012-01-09T12:04:00.011Z

In order to achieve our goals in 2012 we will each be drawing daily on our internal resources. These internal resources might include: perseverance, trust, action, communication or laughter etc. The key to success is accessing these resources when they're needed - it's no use perfecting our communication skills when action is required, or taking action when focusing on what direction that action should be in is paramount.

I've noticed however that we often react unconsciously to situations using the most obvious resource or one that we find easy to use. You'll certainly find my answer to many situations is yet more communication :-). The difficulty with that strategy is that it often doesn't work, or makes our goal harder not easier to achieve. It's a bit like using the wrong sized screwdriver - you might make it work but it will take more time and you might ruin the thread of the screw on the way. This year I really do wish every one of us a year to remember for all the right reasons. To assist I'm going to be blogging regularly about the many resources - tools if you will - that we may have in our personal toolkits but may be wary of using. Do feel free to suggest some resources you'd like me to cover. Why not join the discussion on my facebook page where collaboration, loyalty and excellence are some of today's suggestions.

As a start to your toolkit development you may also like these notes from a session I facilitated entitled 'Keeping on Track in a downturn' where the final resource suggested was AUTHENTICITY.

Looking forward to a wonderfully inspiring and delightful 2012
Alison

Alison Smith
Helping procurement teams stay on track in 2012
alison@alisonsmith.eu 07770 538159

The end of your world could be upon you!

2012-01-03T13:33:00.014Z

The end of your world could be upon you.... and I don't mean 21st December 2012 I mean today, tomorrow or if you're lucky some future date many days from today - but it will come.

Why?

Because none of us know how much longer we will be here - and as hard as that sounds it's a fact.
I'd love to start the year as I normally do with plenty of tips on goal setting and how to keep on track (and I promise they will come). However they will be very much future orientated and some of us many not be here to reap the rewards. That is:

We eat well or exercise today in order to be healthy tomorrow

We work hard in order to get some result in the future

We learn so that we may apply it next week

and we procrastinate plenty and put things off until another day (or is that just me?)

The picture above is one of the daily photo's I sent a friend from August 26th last year shortly after her prognosis until she went into the hospice late in November before dying peacefully in her sleep on 28th December - 4 months later. Each picture was my invitation to her to remember to:

Stay in the moment

Enjoy each day

Remember she was loved

Speak from the heart

Leave nothing unsaid

Find gratitude in the small things

Laugh

Remember and appreciate the good times

That is to believe in tomorrow but live for today.

I'm not suggesting we stop setting goals, exercising or eating healthily. What I am suggesting is we find some time each day to really live for today - because we really don't know how many more of them we may have. I'm sure my friend, and her husband on their holiday abroad in July, were busy imagining a very different Christmas and New Year with their family to the one that enfolded. They had many precious moments between August 26th and December 28th but many of those were because they knew the end of her world was near.

It's easy to act is if it's never going to happen - this blog is a reminder that it will - don't let those small moments pass YOU by.

In loving memory of a friend who will be sadly missed x

Nothing is impossible

2011-09-11T12:41:00.005+01:00

This picture defies logic and is a great example that anything is possible if we just take some time and patience to find the solution and explore the opportunities.

With thanks to Responsible fishing UK for Fantastic picture - more stunning photo's of balance can be found on their Facebook page and web site.

When someone says "Chocolate" what do you think of?

2011-09-01T12:00:00.010+01:00

I was reminded of an exercise I use with groups when in a session with internal stakeholders of a procurement team last week.

In the exercise I ask everyone to write the first eight words that come to mind when they hear the word “chocolate”. They then spend some time comparing their answers with others in the room. There is a whole range of possible answers, that could include:

Milk, dark, bitter, bake, dog, buttons, sweet, good, bad, healthy, unhealthy, bar, biscuits, strawberries, cocoa, Fairtrade, relaxation, fountain, Labrador, sugar, hot, fattening, present, gift, orange, yucky, yummy.

The one word that seems to come up most often is milk, shared by about three-quarters of the group. The second most common word is usually shared with less than half of the people participating in the exercise. Very soon we’re looking at just a small percentage of people sharing a word. Sometimes someone may not share a single word with anyone in the room. Generally most people will have three or four associated words that are unique to them.

It’s clear that even for a simple word such as chocolate there are different things going on in our minds when we hear it. It’s this meaning to us that will impact our actions, reactions, words and behaviours and yet we often use words assuming a common understanding.

In last week’s meeting I realised every internal stakeholder in the room had a different interpretation for “procurement”. When the stakeholder heard the phrase “best practice procurement” their interpretation of procurement meant they thought they were already doing it. Continuing to use the word wasn’t going to change that so we had to start using new words that expanded their understanding.

New words that enabled them to understand in much more detail what was involved in the Initiate Project, Research & Analyse, Develop Strategy, Implement Strategy and Implement Contract steps.

The next time you’re not getting the response you’re expecting, it might be that they consider what you’re talking about to be yucky, not yummy.

Also blogged on Supply Management. Image from Dogs & Puppies

Landscaping Your Life Principles

2011-09-01T07:45:00.012+01:00

The following list is included on many posters and suggests its origins come from the native american culture and is often titled:

The Ten Indian Commandments

Treat the earth and all that dwell thereon with respect

Remain close to great spirit

Show great respect for your fellow beings

Work together for the benefit of all mankind

Give assistance and kindness wherever needed

Do what you know to be right

Look after the well being of mind & body

Dedicate a share of your efforts to the greater good

Be truthful and honest at all times

Take full responsibility for your actions

Irrespective of who really first said them, if we connected in this way with the landscape and others on this planet of ours, then I certainly think we'll find our connection within more easily. Do join me on my Landscaping Your Life facebook page where I share more on the process that uses landscapes as metaphors for life. Although I'm starting to think that perhaps landscapes are really a mirror for our lives not simply a metaphor.

Image used from The History of Pachakamak

Keeping on Track in a Downturn

2011-08-30T08:30:00.007+01:00

The following contains details of the initial discussion undertaken during a group session I facilitated using the FCP process some time ago that I've sent to a few people recently and thought may provide insight at this time too.

Here's the first few insights - if you're interested in further insights then there's a link to the remaining pdf containing the full notes at the end.

You broke through your closed shell of isolation into a true understanding and experience of team work.

There are 3 aspects to this card:

breaking through the closed shell of isolation

true understanding of teamwork

true experience of teamwork

It’s certainly very difficult to keep on track if we isolate ourselves, so too if we experience teamwork where everyone operates in their own silos.

Perhaps we’re being asked to consider what breaking through our closed shell of isolation into a true understanding and experience of teamwork would look, sound and feel like or perhaps it’s a reminder we’re already doing it.

Peace
It’s very easy to think we’ll calm down or take time out once we’ve finished everything, once the downturn is over. Here we’re being asked to bring a quality of peace into our lives now. Knowing that from that place of peace we’re more likely to make better decisions and wiser choices.

The session concluded with the mentor of Authenticity ....Continued

The process, the insight, setback and mentor cards used here are from the Frameworks for Change © Innerlinks - www.innerlinks.com
Image from Andrew Jones Photography (my brother too :-))

Comparisons

2011-08-29T12:17:00.004+01:00

I was asked today for a copy of a story I'd written and thought I'd share it here too.

Here's the first few para's and then a link to the full version (It's a short story so only 2 pages long).

“iPhone iPhone in my hand who is the fairest in the land” Eleanor said out loud hoping against all hope that the answer would be “Eleanor is the fairest in the land” and was therefore very disappointed when the answer was someone in Norway she’d never heard of.

Like a lot of people Eleanor had been delighted when a new iPhone application has been launched. It was a comparison application but instead of comparing prices it compared skills and attributes. Within a week she’d discovered that she didn’t have the thinnest ankles, the glossiest hair, the whitest teeth or the most perfect breasts. She’d also discovered that she wasn’t the best nonfiction writer, communication trainer, motivational speaker or career coach. With every question she asked she found out that someone else was better than her. Her mood therefore took a huge turn for the worse and friends and family got very wary of speaking to her. Nothing they said seemed to make any difference. In fact it made matters worse because when they listed something they thought she excelled in – she just asked the iPhone and it gave her the name of someone else. To her every name was more evidence that she wasn’t good at anything even if she didn’t always agree with the answer the phone gave. To Eleanor there was a whole world out there better at everything than her with better skills, better minds and certainly better bodies. Whenever she thought she might have found a question that would give her the answer she craved she was always disappointed – the best bathroom went to a couple in Hong Kong and even the cleanest small bedroom window facing west (when she’d started to clutch at straws) went to a man in Canada.

Continued

Bad apples just get more rotten – it’s time to change the metaphor

2011-08-11T10:21:00.006+01:00

I have been inundated with examples of the different ways we can view good and bad over the last week and thought I’d share the thoughts that have arisen for me:

One key conversation was with a friend about being a ‘good person’ vs a ‘bad person.’

I agree certain behaviours are bad (although I’m pretty sure we’ll all have different scales for what goes where) but that doesn’t make the people doing them bad. If we continue to label others as bad then it’s not long before we continue with that metaphor and believe them to be rotten, like an apple, and therefore useless. The only option then is for them to be discarded. As a metaphor it’s not got a lot going for it, it certainly doesn’t provide a lot of options other than perhaps to bury the apple and hope the seeds have some life left in them!

I wondered what might be a more helpful and resourceful metaphor – what about:

Tomatoes – because they need the right soil, nutrients, feeding, watering, heat and light. This is they need TLC and the right conditions to enable them to flourish. Although perhaps unhelpful when thrown at others rather than eaten as part of a healthy diet.

Flowers – what I like about this metaphor is flowers can flourish in many environments despite the lack of the ‘right’ conditions. But constant lack of any of the right conditions will certainly not allow for a flourishing, vigorous and beautiful flower.

With both these examples at least it’s easier to understand what is needed to ensure the plant flourishes and contributes to the garden. It’s also useful to consider the impact of the greenhouse, the gardener and tools used because ultimately these too will determine the extent to which the plants flourish.

What metaphors do you use to describe others and in what way might these be unhelpful to finding a solution to the issue.

Alison

Alison Smith
Helping Teams see the Wood for the Trees

For more on the Landscaping your Life metaphor I use with individuals and teams do visit my facebook and youtube pages. You may also like a recent blog on Growing your own stakeholders on Supply Management.

Nettles and Dock Leaves

2011-08-09T10:43:00.004+01:00

One way of interpreting this combination of plants is that an opportunity to solve a problem is never that far away. To explore this more fully I thought I'd use the Frameworks for change Coaching Process to see what other insights might be available especially on this #riotcleanup day here in the UK:

Insight: You express honesty and truthfulness in each moment.
When ever I look at nature I am always reminded that each flower and plant offers it's own uniqueness and ask myself why we constantly try to be like other people rather than accept we are who we are in all our uniqueness. Of course this is also true in reverse why do we so often try to get everyone to be like us and not not accept and embrace their uniqueness?

Setback: You are setback by ARROGANCE in the present situation
I wonder whether this a continuation of the last point i.e. it's easy to believe we're a Dock Leaf providing healing balm to those stung rather than accept that we might just be the nettle. Isn't it useful to be reminded that sometimes we're the ones capable of stinging others too? We may have other virtues but we all come with beliefs, skills or behaviours some might perceive as negative and unhelpful. To move forward it's about us all releasing the setback of believing we're better than others and accepting and embracing ours and their uniqueness.

Insight: You value and express the quality of SUPPORT in the current situation
You might see that the Dock Leaf supports the Nettle and perhaps that's the point - that we each need others around us who can support us and point out our less positive traits so that we may learn and grown. This of course is infinitely more possible if we've let the arrogance go. Who are you supporting today?

Mentor: Transformation
If we took on the beliefs and behaviours of our role model for transformation what difference would that make - what would we be thinking, what would we be saying and what would we be doing differently? One question - What's stopping us?

I hope you found this helpful. If so you may find the notes from the session entitled 'Keeping on track in a downturn' helpful too. I love that the final mentor was Authenticity. It's certainly a great process for use in groups as well as in coaching sessions.

Helping, ok nudging, us all to realise our potential
Alison
alison@alisonsmith.eu 07770 538159

The process, the insight, setback and mentor cards used here are from the
Frameworks for Change © Innerlinks - www.innerlinks.com.

Nameste or Oel ngati kameie

2011-08-04T07:59:00.004+01:00

Someone tweeted "Namaste" yesterday and I was reminded of my blog from a few years ago and wanted to share it again here today:

Nameste or Oel ngati kameie? Both of these are greetings and I wonder how different our relationships at work would be if we used them – although I would suggest that Namaste might be easier to say :-)

When you greet someone with hello what are you thinking about? I’d suggest very little. It’s often just a word at the top of an email or the start of the conversation and is simply a means to the rest of the conversation. I wonder if the other person even registers it.

When I watched the film Avatar I loved the Na’vi’s welcome “Oel ngati kameie” which translates as “I see you.” I see you feels to me like an appreciation of the person with whom we’re communicating. Surely such an appreciation would be a great way to start any conversation - in spirit if not word.

The Sanskrit word Nameste has a similar meaning. One translation I particularly like, although perhaps not strictly grammatically accurate, is “I honour the spirit in you.” On researching for this blog I realise there are other words that are used around the globe for hello which have similar meanings and these include Aloha, Shalom, Salaam etc.

I like that these start the conversation recognising and appreciating a connection between both/all parties. I just wonder what difference it would make if we used them more regularly at work - even just in our heads.

The responses to the blog at the time suggested that just remembering to say "good morning" could make as much difference and my response to that was:

It's perhaps not the word but the intent that matters. Hello can illicit the same response if said with meaning and a desire to connect as much as any of my other suggestions.

Au Revior (until we meet again here or in person)

Let go

2011-08-03T19:58:00.009+01:00

At this time of year I get quite a few butterflies in my office. They generally flutter about the room and then head back off to the window.

The common trait as they search for the open window (at the bottom) is they head up to the top panel of glass, then they come down and then get stuck between the 2 panes of glass. Once they stop trying so heard to fly up and relax they fall through the very small gap between the two panes as this video shows.

Next time you're stuck in a situation it might be useful to consider there may be less obvious options available that require no effort at all.

Do come visit me on YouTube or Facebook for more on #Landscapingyourlife.

What ends up in your personal junk folder

2011-08-03T18:46:00.005+01:00

I tweeted recently that unless we follow people we disagree with our twitter feed is likely to represent and not challenge our view of the world. That’s no different in other areas of our life. That is what we pay attention to will normally support our worldview.

There’s approximately 2 billion pieces of data coming into our senses every second!! With that much data available it would be easy to get overloaded. It’s our Reticular Activating System (RAS) that acts as a filter – it’s a tracking system that brings to our attention data that it thinks is important to us. It’s basically a SPAM filter which bases its assessment of importance on if:

• It is important to our survival
• It is different or out of the norm
• It has emotional content for us personally
• It supports our beliefs
• It helps us achieve our goals

And everything else ends up in Junk mail.

This is why, once we set goals, we start to notice information that will help us achieve them – whether that’s useful information or people. Or why suddenly there are more cars the same as our new one on the road.

There’s much we can do to become more aware and even set our own SPAM filter to ensure we’re not missing vital information. I just wanted to remind you that your beliefs will determine what you notice. For example I bet you can give me recent examples of drivers of white van's (hijacking a common belief here in the UK about their bad driving for a moment) who were driving recklessly and didn’t notice the larger percentage of occasions where they were courteous.

How do your criteria need redefining to stop useful information going into your junk mail?

Helping you realise the potential of Procurement

Alison

alison@alisonsmith.eu 07770 538159

Effective Tweeting at conferences

2011-08-02T11:03:00.013+01:00

I’ve vicariously followed many conferences on Twitter over the last couple of years and the following is a summary of my tips on engaging more effectively for all involved (audience, speakers & organisers).

NB: Obviously, in sharing, some of my own behaviours and beliefs about use of SoMe will become apparent. I’ve also made assumptions about the objectives of each of the groups involved. In other words these might not all apply – so do please share your tips so that we make this a more comprehensive list.

Attendees

Understand your objective for tweeting from the conference.

Understand your preferred learning style and know if tweeting during the speeches will support or hinder the objectives you have for attendance – better to share learning and engage with twitter after the speech or even event if you know that will work best for you.

Find out and use the #conferencehashtag.

Find out and use the @speakerstwittername.

Tweeting “great speech from @speaker” is ok but does this meet your objectives and does it help your followers and the followers of the #hashtag?

“Great speech from @ speaker @#hashtag because I learnt this, will do this differently or even because he made me laugh, cry, jump up and down” is much better.

Remember the conference is a wonderful opportunity to talk to new people not tweet to people you already have a connection with – you can catch up with them as you travel home?

Speakers

Ensure tweet profile is up to date and ensure profile or more recent tweet provides links to website/blog or other means of finding out what you do (you might not use twitter but much of the audience might).

Ensure people at the conference know your @twittername – getting it into your intro would be GREAT.

Understand what your objectives are for your audience and encourage tweets that support or reinforce that.
(My concern is if we’re busy tweeting what you said will that translate into insight or action in the future? I do think tweeting can keep us at theoretical level rather than applying it. Evidence from conferences I’ve followed would support that as there is a distinct lack of sharing on things beyond what was being said. I’ve often asked what will you do differently and get NO reply – is that because people don’t know because they were too busy tweeting what was said? I get plenty of engagement otherwise.)

Engage with those tweeting about your speech (More often than not I will follow someone who does that whether it’s my tweet they’ve replied to or someone else’s. It’s a great way of reinforcing a point or clarifying it).

If you’re tweeting about another speaker use their @twittername.

Organisers

Consider employing professional tweeters to raise profile of conference ahead of and during conference.

Agree and communicate in all marketing literature and tweet the #conferencehashtag – not halfway through the first day please.

Engage with attendees before the event (ask for twitter name in registration) – about #hashtag, speakers, venue, accommodation, food, networking opportunities etc.

Ensure all speakers know each other’s @twitternames.

Engage with those tweeting especially those using incorrect #hashtag.

Regularly tweet, throughout the conference, what the #hashtag means with links.

Ensure you have a transcript of #hashtagtweets at the end so those attending, those in different #timezones or those finding #hashtag later in day can review what’s been said.

Which is why employing a professional tweeter makes sense.

Hope something here has helped - do share your tips too.

Speaker Authenticity - it's more than truth telling

2011-08-01T11:06:00.018+01:00

Authenticity is something that is often mentioned as an aspiration of speakers. As a speaker myself and writing this to other speakers I think it’s useful to remember that we all judge others by our own definition. That is we each have our own definition, so too our colleagues, other speakers and audiences.

I’d suggest therefore that understanding our own and other’s views on authenticity may be useful. Without that understanding how can we ensure when speaking we avoid following others’ advice to become more authentic when that very action could make us less so.

This weekend I found myself tweeting the following in response to an exchange from other twits at @influence11 (see #nsa11) a conference of professional speakers in California:

alisonrbcm: challenge is that sometimes following others advice can take you away from being authentic and make it more 'manufactured'

alisonrbcm: wonder if telling it {the story} to be of service vs telling it to make more sales also makes a difference on authenticity felt by audience

alisonrbcm: something about congruency with self and not congruency with what we think we have to be to be accepted

These reflect the feeling I have that authenticity is more than simply truth telling, more than just not lying and yes even more than showing vulnerability. Looking on the internet for a definition I liked the one over on Wiki:

"Authenticity is the degree to which one is true to one's own personality, spirit, or character, despite these {external} pressures."

If this is true then it’s perhaps easier to see how we can determine whether we’re achieving this for ourselves – but how can we assess others against this? How can we know if someone is being true to their spirit? I’d love to know how YOU know.

For me my assessment has an energetic component ie where do I feel the speaker’s communication is coming from: ie their head, heart, spirit or body and where is it going to: ie my head, heart, spirit, back of the room or someplace else? Which is why I will disagree with many when I only feel the connection from the speaker’s head to mine rather than more deeply heart to heart or spirit to spirit.

I've raised a discussion in LinkedIn to share your thoughts - do join us there.

Don't speak ill of another

2011-07-26T19:48:00.012+01:00

I saw a tweet the other day that said “Don’t speak ill of others – write it in the sand by the water’s edge.” Which I paid attention to for reasons that become clear if you visit the #landscapingyourlife facebook page which the photo above was taken for.

What interested me on Sunday, as I took the picture and posted it on Twitter, was how apt it was for twitter that day. My twitter feed was full of people speaking ill of those that were making the headlines over the weekend.

I was reminded of a video from 1992, which I only recently saw, where a 12 year old reminded us that adults tell children not to do things and then promptly do them all themselves. On twitter and even on other blogs I can see adults doing what they tell children off for doing and that’s ‘calling others names’ or labelling them as this or judging them as that. How can we know these words to be true, what reason is there for doing it and what’s the positive outcome?

My suggestion today is if we wouldn’t let our child say the words about someone at school don’t say them about someone else.

Alison

Alison Smith
Helping teams realise their potential

PS: Authentic Power’s blog yesterday on not judging her mother is another great reminder about the impact we have when we attach judgement to others. Another piece by Julia Hill perhaps more related to the landscape metaphors I mentioned earlier said ”I thought to myself, how in the world do we think we can end the clear-cutting on the planet if we’re so effective at clear-cutting each other”

All you need is some extra motivation

2011-07-26T17:43:00.003+01:00

My favourite phrase is by Guillaume Apollinaire and says:

"Come to the edge" he said.
They said "We are afraid"
"Come to the edge" he said.
They came. He pushed them.
And they flew.

This quote has never been so apt as it was this morning as I watched fledgling seagull twins (see picture of them with one parent) as they were fed by their parents. They’ve not long left their nest and for the next few weeks they will spend much of the time on the ground being fed by their parents as they learn to fly. As in previous years their initial flying attempts are over walls and more hop like than flight and will go on for many days/weeks as their confidence and flying and feeding skills develop.

This morning I realised, however, that they could perhaps fly sooner if they had sufficient motivation. A third chick appeared and the parents of the twins made it very clear it was not welcome and were attacking it. I could not believe the flight this chick then took – over the road, over gardens aerial acrobatics at it’s very best as it was chased by one of the parents.

I wonder how often in life we all need that extra motivation to get moving?

Landscaping Your Life

2011-07-21T10:33:00.011+01:00

I will be developing a new blog to cover this new tool but for the time being just wanted to let you know all about Landscaping Your Life (LYL) - as I'm very excited.

It's been a friend since I developed it 10 years ago. It uses landscapes as metaphors for life. You know the sort of thing: stuck in a rut, walking through mud, going around the bend, going with the flow, plain sailing etc. In essence LYL helps you effortlessly (because we're using a metaphor) plot a route from where you are to where you want to be and take the necessary steps to get there.

It's very flexible. So, whilst if the weather is fine I do like to get management teams outside walking around real landscapes, photographs work just as well - it's just a different process. In fact many of those who were at the very first LYL session in the early 'oo's still have their landscapes at home and still remember the learning and insight.

I've set up a facebook page to share LYL ideas and concepts to keep you on track. July competition is all about Milestones. I'm also sharing LYL videos on youtube which currently includes:

* Going with, not fighting, the tide,

* Stepping out into the unknown,

* Looking around the corner (or going around the bend)

* Getting out of the rut (pictures of which will be the August competition over on my FB page).

I look forward to landscaping our lives together

Alison

alison@alisonsmith.eu 07770 538159

Job satisfaction - how important is it?

2011-07-10T12:20:00.003+01:00

I’m currently working on a contract cleaning project. As part of this we’re developing the business requirements which has involved considering how we define what clean looks like. It’s also involved an assessment of current practice. This assessment has included the time taken to undertake the cleaning. Comparison of these times across the organisation may, along with other data gathered, enable us to identify best practice.

Imagine then my quandary when I read in the Urban Worrier by Nick Thorpe about his experience of bed making at a monastery in New Mexico. He realised that his need for speed and competitive nature wasn’t enabling him to fully embrace the activity and enjoy it. So “I give in and slow down”... “I would not, I suspect, win a hotel cleaning contract – but I defy you to find more contended cleaners.”

As a procurement professional my goal is to ensure value for money for the organisation and have, and I’m sure will continue, to negotiate contracts that focus on speed to undertake activities. As a coach my goal is often about ensuring job satisfaction including wellbeing and passion for life. I just wonder whether, how and when as a procurement professional I should be considering job satisfaction of our suppliers?

Are we each any better than the NOTW?

2011-07-10T10:05:00.007+01:00

On the one hand I join with others in outrage at the actions of some News of the World employees and contractors regarding phone hacking. On the other I wonder at our ability to forget we're often no different. Don't we, just like the NOTW, keep quiet until it's no longer feasible - whether that's in personal, commercial, national, international or global interests.

Apparently the phone hacking took place 6 years ago - yet it's only now that anything has happened. Many people must have been involved and many more must have known about it and yet no one said anything - and not just Rebekah Brooks.

It's as if a blind eye is turned until someone else gathers irrefutable evidence and/or we realise others agree with us and public opinion is on our side that we take action. It's as if when the game is finally over we suddenly start speaking up! Until that time we'll keep quiet along with everyone else.

I'm very sad about the amount of time and media space taken on this story when there are many others that have more far reaching and significant impacts. I'd like to hope that this story signifies a change in people speaking up - I suspect however that it's the very fact that speaking up isn't personally impacting those doing it that nothing will change :-(

What level of perfection are you aiming at?

2011-07-05T16:14:00.001+01:00

Last night someone on the TV said we must aim for perfection ie 100% because then we might achieve 95%. He suggested if we didn’t aim that high we would end up settling for 75%.

I understand the sentiment but surely it can’t be that simple. After all much of my coaching and facilitation is aimed at helping those who are seriously and negatively impacted by their drive for 100%.

I’ve been thinking about perfection since I watched the Red Arrows in an aerial display over Edinburgh a week ago soaring over us with such precision and yes perfection. Here’s where I’ve got to and would love your comments to help refine and expand my thinking.

Whilst I don’t know what level of perfection the Red Arrows need to be at for a display I’d suggest it’s nearing 100%. It needs to be and perhaps that’s the key – if the risk is high enough the price paid (in any resources e.g. time, effort, £ etc ) in achieving perfection is necessary. However for those flying with the Red Arrows I’m sure the activities they need to perfect are very specific. They’re not asked to be in armed combat or carry out other duties. They’re allowed to concentrate all their attention on perfecting a specific number of skills over a very specific period of time. I’m sure that must be the same for any other risky and perfection needing professions such as surgeons, emergency services etc.

So what do I think we can learn from this?

* Accept that perfection isn’t possible for everything we do
* Allow the risk to assess the activities we wish to apply perfection to
* And if we’re going to aim for perfection limit the skills we’re aiming for perfection in

Vision, optimism, honesty & leadership

2011-06-21T19:08:00.003+01:00

Dangerous things tweets...... I tweet to say I’m off to do some #solstice scene setting for the year ahead and Charlie tweets back asking if I’ll share it on HRZONE ... so don’t blame me that’s all I can say...

There’s a number of times a year when I take the opportunity to review where I’m at. How I do that depends on which aspect of my life I’m looking at. Sometimes I might do a collage, paint a plate or just go for a walk. Other times the templates might come out as I dive into some business or strategic planning tool. And other times I’ll get the cards out .....

Today the cards in question are from the Frameworks for change Coaching Process but could quite as easily include other business or non business cards sets. Using cards can be a great way to tap into our inner wisdom to provide insight to the current situation. ‘Acting as if’ the cards do relate to the situation is what allows us to creatively explore the solution to an issue.

If you want to find out more about the process then read notes from a group session here otherwise join me as I ‘act as if’ the cards chosen will provide some insight for me for the next 6 months. At the same time you may notice insights as you read my story and experience your own relationship with the cards.

Vision: As I think about this card it reminds me to get my head up from all the paper, lists, objectives, goals, KPI’s, the cash flow forecast and all the rest and get in touch with the VISION of where I’m headed. If I was coaching myself I’d be asking what would it look, sound and feel like. And as I do that, even very quickly, I realise it’s very much about head up from PC and looking out and connecting with the world. Might not mean much to you but it certainly does to me.

Optimism: I do know optimism will help but when we get a card it’s not about what we already know or are doing. We explore but what else we could be doing. So for me this is about remembering the physiology that helps me be more optimistic. I’m not sure the amount of time spent hunched over my pc of recent months really means I’ve been in an optimistic physiology much of the time. Must remember to sit up, shoulders back, head up and remember to move more often.

I spent time wallowing in a state of negativity and unexpressed resentment: (yes the card set includes setbacks too) ouch - there’s certainly a theme going on - so what more is there to be gleaned from this card that’s not already been covered? *Pause as I think a little* For me I wonder if it’s the wallowing aspect of the card. An image of hippos comes to mind – do they wallow – I imagine it’s a great effort to do anything fast and perhaps they’d just prefer to stay where they are and do what they’ve been doing even if it’s not the cleanest water or a little deeper than they’d like. Mmm... so yes perhaps an antidote to ‘wallowing’ is needed and another reminder to get my head up.

Honesty: (I’ve shared my personal response to cards in blogs and newsletters many times and often think I could just put a card back but never do and share in the belief that others will benefit too however uncomfortable this might be for me – thanks Charlie :-)). Although on reflection not too bad really as I think it’s honesty with myself. Perhaps I have just been wallowing and need to be honest to myself about that and take myself more forcefully in hand and get the body moving. After all it’s me who has the ability to make any changes not anyone else.

Leadership: What I’m reminded of here is how I feel when I’m facilitating a group and the leaderships skills that I use then. It feels like I use these skills on behalf of others when coaching, facilitating or consulting but just manage myself through all those lists and KPI’s etc! What would I do differently if I was applying leadership to my own life not just trying to manage it? That certainly sounds different.

I’ll certainly let you know how I get on with being more open to vision, optimism, honesty & leadership over coming weeks and months. Do share any insights you had for yourself as you read the blog.

Transforming purchasing relationships with vision, optimism, honesty & leadership

Alison

The process, the insight, setback and mentor cards used here are from the Frameworks for Change coaching process © Innerlinks - www.innerlinks.com.

Business Values - do they really exist?

2011-05-30T14:11:00.006+01:00

Values are what drive all our behaviours and are our unconscious motivators and de-motivators. Understanding them more, therefore, helps us to explore changes that may need to take place in order for progress to be made towards our goals. What values aren’t - are things we decide or even choose to have ie they’re not conscious they’re unconscious.

The challenge is can we translate personal values into business values?

I know many organisations have published values statements but I wonder can we really suggest the current values statements used by most organisations are the same or even similar to our personal and unconscious values? And therefore should we be even calling them such?

I’d suggest not - for a number of reasons:

When eliciting personal values we start with an individual’s behaviour to understand the value(s) driving that behaviour. Business values seem to work the other way round and simply become aspirational choices rather than something that reflects or explains current actions.

Personal values cover ALL our actions. Many business values seem to concentrate on the ‘softer’ aspirational values and forget about the ‘harder’ values that inform for example the strategic direction, profitability or pricing choices made.

Even if people have the same core value, what behaviours they judge to be acceptable or unacceptable will differ greatly. Why else, for example, are there numerous linkedin group discussions exploring what integrity or honesty mean. Business values statements are therefore useless without a statement of behaviour to identify what the values looks like for that organisation.

Because they’re our personal values it’s automatic for us to behave in ways that support them. Unless our values are aligned with an organisation’s it’s likely we may find taking on its values and associated behaviours difficult. If they’re in conflict with our own even more so. I certainly don’t see much evidence of values based alignment in interviews or restructuring when new or updated values statements are published.

Making any changes to our personal values and/or their hierarchy (ie their relationship to each other) is not easy. Yet organisations’ management teams seem to be able to find it easy to issue a values statement and assume it’ll work.

Which all means I’d much prefer we found a different term for all those business values statements.

Can you be faithless and therefore trustworthy?

2011-05-26T18:18:00.010+01:00

An article in Supply Management told us to 'Sacrifice yourself rather than your principles' and had me thinking about my favourite topic of authenticity and the implications of being authentic in the workplace.

I'll share other thoughts over the coming weeks but wanted to start with this.....

There's a wonderful quote in The Invitation that asks...

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true;
I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself;
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul;
If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

It's a quote I often share with clients and yet it's the one that some find they are unable, or should I say unwilling, to embrace.

During our day to day activities we work with other people, we rest with other people and we play with other people. It's during all this activity that we make promises - whether explicitly stated or implied e.g.

* I will do this or that for you

* I will support you
* I will be there for you
* I do believe in you etc

Sometimes these promises are very easy to keep. Sometimes we know we shouldn't be making the promise from the start, other times it just becomes harder for us to keep and other times the promise is no longer valid for the person we have become.

The issue is what do we do when the promise is one we know we can longer keep, when we know that it's no longer supporting us? In these instances many stick to the promises they have made even though it's slowly eroding at who they are and may even be making them ill.

In the Invitation the author shares "I suddenly realised that the people in my life you are the most trustworthy, are not those who always keep their agreements with me. Those who can be faithless - who can bear the responsibility or breaking an agreement with someone when the alternative is to betray themselves - are trustworthy."

Can you bare the accusation of betrayal to be true to yourself today?

Sometime you have to let them bang their head - over and over

2011-05-09T12:31:00.003+01:00

Yesterday a friend and I came out of the house and there was a bee banging repeatedly against the window trying to get out only a few inches away from an open door. My friend went to help it out and I stopped her - I stopped her because it was a pattern we'd been discussing about helping people.

Humans can be just like the bee. We can keep doing the same thing and if someone helps (forces?) us to change we may initially fly through the door but often sooner or later we’ll be back again. Back banging our head against the window until we decide we want to stop doing what we’ve always done to do something different. The person who can see the open door has a choice to stay and encourage them or fly through the door? If they stay they may find they get stuck there, lose interest in leaving or even start banging their head too. If they go through the door they may be followed or may not.

Of course bees aren't human so perhaps we could have helped the bee?

Your habits are contagious - so are theirs

2011-05-09T12:05:00.004+01:00

It's often been said if you want to be wealthy to hang around with the wealthy and certainly stop spending time with those who aren't. Having spent a day with Dr David Hamilton at the weekend I realise that’s also true for all our:

Habits – health, relationships, team working, communication, performance
Emotions – happiness, fear, anger, depression
And yes even yawns!

That is these are all catching – we can get infected by others and of course we do our fair share of infecting too. So if you have goals you want to achieve you’d best check that the habits and emotions of those around you, up to 3 degrees of separation, would be useful to you. Although the closer you are to someone the more likely you are to get infected!

David has just released his new book ‘The contagious power of thinking’. The main premise of the book, supported by lots of research and science, is that we’re hard wired to copy others! The mirror neurons in our brain pick up on what others are doing and want to copy them. So if someone smiles at you your mirror neurons will subtly copy that smile and there’s very little you can do about it. Just as there’re very little you can do when someone passes a frown, anger of fear your way – not instantly anyway.
This can have a significant impact in organisations as one study published in the Journal of Applied Social Psychology showed where for each one point increase in a retail manager’s job satisfaction there was 5 percent increase in customer spending. Other studies including from Harvard support the findings about the ‘contagious power of thinking’.
Who are you infecting and is it helping?

Well Being

2011-04-06T15:08:00.013+01:00

6 weeks ago I set you some homeplay for the weekend to notice the impact how you were feeling had on those around you and what you wanted to do that weekend and in life generally.

My invitation to journey with me as I've blogged since has been about not waiting until you've smashed up a shop (of the cup cake or any other variety), or you're signed off with stress or your relationships are falling apart to make the necessary changes.

I certainly didn't want anyone believing the stories they tell themselves about not making the changes - you know the ones - it's my age, I can't, it's too late or even it won't change anything! In short if we don't have the energy to do what we need or want to do every day something has to change! and we can do it! you can do it!

The suggestions on changes to be made are certainly known to us all. Unless I'm unique, I know the challenge is following through on the logic. As I found to my embarrassment today when, having realised I still wasn't eating enough of the right things to sustain what I'm up to on daily basis, my personal trainer decided to abandon the fitness element of my session and go look in the fridge to help me 'see' the healthy options that lay within!!

The changes I've invited you to consider over the 6 weeks have included:

Mind: Putting yourself first

Mind: Understanding yourself

Mind: Changing what your telling yourself

Body: Reviewing your diet

Body: Having enough sleep

Body: Getting your body moving - esp on the days when it's the last thing you want to do

Heart: Asking for help

Heart: Letting go of the past

Spirit: Finding our legacy

I hope something I've said during these blogs has triggered something for you to help you understand what changes you might want to make and/or what changes you may be able to support others in your life with.

Helping purchasing relationships find well being because it starts with the individual.

Alison

Alison Smith
07770 538159 alison@alisonsmith.eu

The final piece of the jigsaw

2011-04-06T13:47:00.012+01:00

At the beginning of March I started with a plea:

Please don't allow yourself any excuse for not exploring how to make improvements in your life. And I mean practical things you can do that could dramatically improve your energy, positivity and overall well being and joy for life. Thus allowing you to more easily achieve your goals and live your dreams rather than purely exist.

Recent weeks have seen me blog about the mind, body and heart's relationship to achieving the above. As you will see from this diagram, used by Stephen R Covey in the 8th Habit, there's still one element I've not covered and that's SPIRIT. It's not a topic that's often discussed in business circles and yet for me SPIRIT is the glue that brings it all together. For me spirit is simply finding a bigger meaning and purpose to what you do. Seán Weafer in a recent blog asked the question "what is the meaning of (your) life" and of course it's what ever you want it to be. In his blog Seán asks 10 questions to help you identify what a purposeful life would be for you. One question I often ask clients is "what do you get on your soap box about?" I know Neil Dorwood asks "What's your legacy?"

What ever your answer it's that which will provide the motivation for you to get up on the days when perhaps your mind, body or heart would prefer that you just stayed in bed.

What do you get on your soap box about? and how does what you do every day connect with that?

Let go of the past

2011-03-28T11:55:00.010+01:00

Kriss Akabusi gave the after dinner speech at the recent CIPS dinner and asked us to 'reference the past don't reside there'. I shared one learning from his speech on my Supplier Management blog. However as I reflect on March's theme of well being there's something else I'd like to discuss.

I'd like you to imagine that we all have 100 watts of internal energy to use everyday. These 100 watts are available to achieve everything we want in the day: all the thinking, all the moving, all the feeling, all the doing, all the being etc. Our eating , exercise , sleeping and thinking will of course impact whether these 100 watts are available but lets just assume for the moment that we're doing all the right things and have 100 watts available.

Which brings me to what other activities will reduce the level of internal energy available to get what we want done: our emotions. Or more importantly emotions directed at the past or the future. Whether that's reliving not getting that job 3 years ago, anger at your boss for something they said 6 months ago, frustration at ourselves for not taking action sooner or fear about the interview coming up in a month? These all take some of those 100 watts. On a very basic level the past has gone and the future has yet to arrive. The problem is we can spend all of our 100 watts revisiting the past or imagining the future and then find we have no energy available to undertake the tasks of today. Emotions are great and do let us know how we're feeling in the moment. However recycling the emotion so it becomes learnt behaviour and a belief rather than real emotion isn't helpful. The key is being aware when we're in the past or future, and therefore allowing our energy to drain away, and bring ourselves back into the moment.

How many of 100 watts did you lose today? and what do you need to stop doing to ensure you do have 100 watts tomorrow?

Alison Smith

Helping purchasing relationships maintain their energy

alison@alisonsmith.eu 07770 538159

Childlike Wonder

2011-03-25T10:59:00.019Z

This model used by Stephen R Covey in the 8th Habit demonstrates the relationship between all aspects of our life. That is each one of the elements impacts the other. So far in this blog this month I've shared my suggestions on how changes to your mind and body can significantly impact your life. This week I want to touch on the impact our Heart and our emotions can have. There's lots I could say but I was hoping I'd find a story from life to share and only got that last night!

Talk on the Chris Evans show of the new Chitty Chitty Bang Bang stories took me back to when I saw the musical. I just love musicals and when Chitty flew into the auditorium I'm not sure there was a child in the theater who had a smile wider than me :-). Which had me reminiscing about the Mary Poppins musical and the fabulous dancing to supercalifragilisticexpialidocious - or rather to suoicodilaipxecitsiligarfilacrepus. And then what about when Bert tap dances his way up the side and along the top of the stage curtains! Which meant last night there I was listening, and yes even dancing and singing, along to some of my favourite songs from musicals (you might want to turn your sound down little before using any of the links):

Seasons of Love from Rent - how do you measure a year?

Defying Gravity from Wicked - I still get goosebumps

Circle of Life from Lion King - what about those costumes?

Which had me remembering other acts that have amazed and inspired me:
Cirque du Soleil - La Nouba - the trampoline sequence just has to be seen

and finally I moved onto my other sing along at the top of my voice songs including:
Affirmation from Savage Garden

It's easy to buy into the current situation and believe it's that that's making us feel as we are - especially when it's not as we'd like it to be. We're upset because X did or said Y to us. The reality is we have a choice how we react and sometimes when life is getting us down we simple need to find that child like wonder to get that spring back into our step.

What would bring some child like wonder into your life this weekend?

Alison

PS I've so loved revisiting these again this morning and hope you all have a supercalifragilisticexpialidocious weekend.

Babies do it best

2011-03-18T15:50:00.005Z

I stayed at a friends house late last night after attending the CIPS dinner in London. At 4 in the morning their 6 month old son woke and communicated he was hungry in the time honoured tradition.

In my rather sleepy state I realised that babies are very good at noticing and then asking for their needs to be met - whether that's:

to be changed

to be fed

to be entertained

or just receive some TLC

As we grow older it's as if we stop noticing we also need these things and certainly stop communicating to others how they can help.

I wonder how your weekend would be different if you took a few tips from when you were younger?

"You just needed your brain re-tuning"

2011-03-16T12:11:00.007Z

My final blog this week was always going to be on exercise but I wanted it to be topical rather than just restating what we all hear time and time again about exercise. Which explains why I'm here again so soon after my last blog because I've got my example and blogging it on Friday pretending it had just happened wouldn't have felt right ......

I woke this morning in one of those moods - negative, achy, dizzy and struggling to motivate myself. I'd even managed to convince myself that I might have a cold coming. I wondered about cancelling my personal trainer and taking to my bed. I realised, however, as he is often a better judge of my health than me, and since he's got me to the other side too many times in the past to ignore, that he might help again today.

He arrived and very quickly decided to do something different and cut short the warm up and proceeded to give me my most strenuous session for a long while. Boxing - kick boxing - running!! He repeatedly asked me to push through my resistance and keep going when every muscle (and my head) just wanted to give up. At the end he just pointed out that all I had been thinking before the session was in fact not true and I had just done better than I had for many months "your brain just needed retuning."

There was a lot going on not least the need to push through but please don't under estimate the power of exercise to shift how we're feeling. I know when we're in one of those moods it's hard to find the motivation and that's one reason I have a personal trainer - but there are other means of ensuring we keep on track e.g. I arrange to go to yoga with a friend to keep us both committed etc. For others it's simply finding a more convenient time.

My plea is just ensure you do something because it really can make a difference.

Sleep Scotland - England and Wales too

2011-03-16T08:03:00.005Z

It was announced yesterday that a teaching pack created by the charity Sleep Scotland is going to be used to help teenagers in Scotland to get enough sleep.

In addition to highlighting the benefits of getting enough sleep they are also going to be advised on the impact of watching TV, using mobiles and computers late at night.

A great example of a simple thing we forget about that can seriously impact our well being. Like all of what I'm sharing this month it's not new. I just hope, like me, you find the occasional reminder useful. If you have all the energy you need and are getting all you want done in life then you're already doing the right things for you. Of course that's the challenge - what works for you might not work for someone else. It's about finding what mix of work, rest and play, and all that encompasses, works best for you.

So today's question is

Are you getting enough sleep?

That is:

Do you know how much sleep allows you to operate at your optimum level?

Do you know what personally impacts your ability to get this much sleep?

Are you taking appropriate action to make any changes needed?

Loving what you do isn't enough

2011-03-08T17:27:00.006Z

I was listening to Aled Jones talking to Katie Melua this morning and she mentioned having to cancel her last tour due to ill health. She said it had come as as shock because she so loved what she did and thought that was enough. Aled then commented that when on tour himself he's constantly reminded by others not to live on junk foods.

We don't have to look far in the media to be reminded "we are what we eat". Or the benefits of cutting down on alcohol, caffeine, refined sugar and processed foods. The difficulty, for me anyway, has been taking that information and making it meaningful enough to act as a motivator to make different choices. At some level we all know that too much of all these foods can have a negative impact on our health, weight, mind, energy, vitality, well being and yes even longevity. Yet many of us keep eating too many of these - or is it just me?

As someone who is very sensitive to the impact of caffeine and alcohol it's not been difficult to cut them out (although I may have something to drink at the CIPS dinner of Thursday). However living on my own and working as I do has always meant I find it easy to skip meals and/or choose ready meals and also reach for the sweets mid afternoon to give me that extra oomph to get through the rest of the day.

3 weeks ago I went on a food4life workshop that seems to have provided the motivation to start to make healthier choices. I'm sure much of what went on over the 3 days contributed to the change in mindset but 2 statements come to mind and, so far, have stopped me making choices that include ready meals, refined sugars and processed foods. These statements are:

* Food is medicine
* Our body doesn't recognise processed foods and doesn't know what to do with them!

I'm not suggesting that these statements will miraculously change your actions. However if life isn't as you want it I'd strongly encourage you to find your own motivators to making healthier choices because they will ultimately make a big difference in ways I'm not sure we can always expect.

Please do share what motivates you to make healthier choices - you never know it just may make a difference for someone?

Alison Smith
Helping purchasing relationships remain healthy

This week I'm moving onto our Body's contribution to well being and our ability to have the life we want and get things done. Last week my blog touched on the Mind's contribution.

Talking to yourself

2011-03-08T16:30:00.006Z

The theme this week is the Mind's contribution to us having the life we want. You see for all it's complexity and ability to do amazing things it's also very simple. If your mind hears something enough it believes it. So if you say "I can't" you probably wont!

Yes it's that simple and before you start saying "I really can't" then just have a look at a previous blog that demonstrated a remarkable change around in my running times during PT. The only difference was I stopped saying "I can't", "It's difficult", "It's impossible", "But".

Dr David Hamilton has written a number of books detailing the scientific changes that take place in our body when we're positive, kind, or show gratitude. These things really are as important as our five a day. Yes they can improve our health and therefore our ability to achieve things.

So if you only do one thing this week can I encourage you to observe what you're saying to your self about: you, your abilities, your future achievements and reflect on how these are impacting how you're feeling and what you're choosing to do - or not do. If you think they might not be helping just try cutting them out of your dialogue and even better finding more positive and supportive wording instead. In fact don't just 'try' - DO IT.

Do let me know how you get on.

Seek first to know yourself

2011-03-08T13:43:00.011Z

Self awareness is the first step in emotional intelligence and it's certainly the first step when wanting to change things when you're not happy with your life. Without self awareness how would you know where to start? How would you know for example:

* The truth of the current situation
* What impact fear is having on the current outcome
* What beliefs you have that may be helping or hindering you
* How your language is impacting how you're feeling
* Whether you need to push a head or pull back
* What you get passionate about
* Whether what you get passionate about is aligned with those around you
* What you're motivated towards (pleasure) or away from (the pain)
* Whether you're better working with others on the changes you want to make, or
* If you're better doing it on your own, and
* Which of mind, body, heart and soul is the best place to start.

Understanding your answers to the questions above will certainly make life easier if you're wanting to make changes.

Alison Smith
Helping Purchasing Relationships become more self aware
This blog is part of a series of blogs on making changes when life is just getting you down. Here's the first in the series I wrote earlier in the month.

You have to put yourself first

2011-03-08T12:55:00.009Z

People often complain about their lack of energy or concentration, not getting anything done, hating their jobs or about failing relationships at home or work. That is people tell us they're not happy with their life.

The challenge is we can all shout from the roof tops and tell them that they can do something about how they're feeling, that they can improve their relationships or can achieve more. But the crux is it requires doing something different and even more it requires them to make their life a priority.

If a friend or colleague was not happy with their life what would you do? I bet you'd spend your time trying to get them back on track, to make them smile, to encourage them to take time for themselves. Why is it so often different when we try to do the same for our own lives?

I was reminded about us having to put ourselves first today in a yoga class when someone was replying to texts between tracks. Her priority was the person needing the reply, and certainly not the tranquility she might have got from an hour of uninterupted yoga. She may have been right. How often, however, do we put others first when we know that it's really us that need the attention and tender loving care?

The tips this month require those wanting to make changes to be prepared to put themselves first - even if it's only for 5 mins a day.

Don't let it get so bad you smash up a cup cake shop!

2011-03-03T15:55:00.013Z

My blog this month is going to explore the following plea from me:

Please don't allow yourself any excuse for not exploring how to make improvements in your life. And I mean practical things you can do that could dramatically improve your energy, positivity and overall well being and joy for life. Thus allowing you to more easily achieve your goals and live your dreams rather than purely exist.

In other words if you're not happy with how you're feeling, acting or the things you're achieving or not achieving in life, then please do stop using those excuses and do something. You know the excuses don't you:

* I don't have time

* I can't

* It doesn't matter

* I can't be bothered

* I'm happy as I am

* It wont change anything

or even

* It's my age you know

The homeplay last weekend involved observing how you were feeling and then noticing the impact it had on other people and the impact it had on the outcome of what you were trying to achieve.

If your answer was 'I was enthused, energised and very happy and it was contagious' you may already know what I'm going to say. If you didn't then for me the crux is this - if you're feeling negative, tired, anxious, angry, or just down right grumpy it can't but have a negative impact on your life e.g:

* You don't go out to meet friends because you're too tired
* You fall out with a close friend over something silly
* You still don't take up that hobby you've been promising to do for years
* You put on the video for the kids rather than go outside and play with them
* You sit in front of the TV all weekend and eat rubbish
* Your blood pressure sky rockets
* You smash up a cup cake shop or worse (yes someone did just that)

We often act as if that's what life has thrown at us and just get on with it and put up with the anxiety, the grumps and negativity. My blog this month will explore all those small steps we can all take to make the necessary changes - and some of them are sooooooo easy, and even more effective, and WILL make a difference - or your money back.

Who's setting the unrealistic targets?

2011-02-28T09:36:00.003Z

Whilst in personal training (PT) today I achieved a 27% reduction in time - I'm giving 15% to improved fitness and 12% to positivity and me setting a totally unrealistic target!!

In January I set out on a new regime to improve my fitness. Lots of reasons for setbacks in 2010 - no excuses in 2011! 6 weeks ago it took me just under 27 mins to do the circuit - a mix of weights, crunches and running. Today I managed it in just over 19 mins!! Somewhere in between would have been realistic but I had the idea I wanted the number under 20mins!

I'm sure the fact that I set the target had an impact. If my PT had set the target I'm sure I'd have resisted and never have achieved what I did.

Just wondering at work if we allow others to set the unrealistic and stretching targets for themselves if we'll all get more done?

Alison Smith
Helping purchasing relationships achieve stretching targets

Homeplay for the weekend

2011-02-25T14:25:00.012Z

A year ago I was asked to blog on well being for HRZone and have been an active blogger since then. Over that time I've continued to share insights, observations and challenges from life. This has covered an array of subjects including motivation, effective communication, integrity and authenticity etc. In other words things that can transform our relationships and help us out of the creeks we find ourselves.

In March (and possibly even a smidgen in Feb) I'd like to go back to look at well being - for two reasons:

The 1st: I've just been on a Food4Life workshop and would love to share the learning
The 2nd: Our well being has a HUGE impact on the quality of our relationships

To provide you with the motivation to read my blog for the next few weeks I'd like to set you some homeplay (homework but of the fun variety) I'd like you to notice the impact how you're feeling has on others - whether you're:

Happy, Energised and motivated or
Angry, tired and apathetic or
somewhere in between.

The blog will then look at how to get more of what you want and less of the other.

What's your addiction?

2011-02-10T07:15:00.003Z

and I'm not talking about the obvious. I'm talking about the things you find yourself compelled to do and not stop even if they impact your health, relationships, work and/or other aspects of your life negatively (in the opinion of others anyway)?

Perhaps it's time to face my own addictions I don't know but the last week has been full of people who seem to be addicted to something that is impacting their ability to have the life they want. Here's a sample:

I exchanged emails with an ex colleague yesterday who had been so addicted, my words not his, to driving fast that he'd been banned twice and was in danger of killing himself if he continued.
A friend can't leave the house without a coffee and has used words such as "it helps me cope with the day" even though she knows that it impacts her health in other less positive ways.
Someone tweeted from their bed last night before they went to sleep and then again as they woke this morning.
I'm seriously thinking of deleting solitaire off my iPhone because once I start I can't stop "just one more".

and more generally what about:

The frequency we check our emails, twitter, blog etc
The burning desire to hoover the house or clean the car :-)
The many hours we watch TV
etc etc

These behaviours provide us with something that we want - pleasure. Which in it self isn't a bad thing until we realise:

that over time what provides us with that pleasure has diminished and therefore we need to do more in order to get the same level of pleasure, or
it's become such a habit that it no longer provides us with pleasure but we still keep doing it, or
we've started to believe we can't survive without it.

What prompted this blog was the fast driving ex colleague who had found a way around his addiction by buying a vintage car that keeps his speed well below the limits.

Which had me thinking about my 'addictions' and what I believe they give me and how I may get that in more positive ways. I'll let you know how I get on.

But then I'm addicted to constantly finding things to resolve! and sharing them in the blog too :-)

What unhelpful behaviours do your objectives bring forth?

2011-02-03T10:24:00.014Z

Last year I had a call from a market research company checking up on a visit from one of their representatives. Basically to check whether the person had done what they said or had just made me up! The tone of questioning made me feel as if I was on trial. A few weeks ago someone tweeted about an over zealous train conductor who seemed to start with a belief that no was to be trusted. These examples had me thinking about the sorts of values, beliefs and behaviours that are unconsciously built into certain jobs as a result of the objectives set. They may help do the job effectively but they can also have interesting repercussions too.

What about the following (and yes they're very stereotypical and simply to illustrate the point):

Politicians: Common sense being ignored in order to disagree with the opposition.
Dr/Pharmaceuticals: Emphasis is on illness rather well being.
Advertising: Words that influence are used even if misleading e.g. recent case involving use of 'nutritious'.
Media: Again words to attract attention are used even if inaccurate
Police/Traffic wardens: Lack of trust must be inherent
and from my own experience
Buyers: Bulldozing of suppliers or internal stakeholders
Coaches: Finding challenges/issues to resolve

I just wonder what KPI's could, or already are, put in place to ensure we avoid these types of repercussions?

Please stop saying the wrong things

2011-01-26T16:53:00.004Z

and stop listening, writing and reading them too.

There are words that have a positive impact on our state of mind and support action towards our desired outcomes. Words that when we hear them continue to allow us to see the opportunities available, that keep our body relaxed and open. Words that support our continued belief in ourselves.

There are other words that negatively impact our state of mind and generate action that's counter productive to the intended outcome. Words that illicit tension in our body, negative thinking and beliefs. Words that bring up our barriers and defences.

In other words there are words that help us achieve our goals and words that stop us achieving them. Words that maintain our well being and words that send us into fight or flight. The problem with words that send us into fight or flight is that's not the best state to assess the reality of the situation, to make important decisions or even be that creative.

I've just looked at BBC news page and notice the following words that to me reinforce the negative and certainly don't help me stay positive: Clash, Terror, Flaw, Dark forces, Lose, Damaged, Disturbed, Chaos, Depression. I assume these words are used to get us to read the report because less negative ones mean we'd not be interested (and yes I'm guilty too with blog headlines to grab your attention).

Now, more than any time over recent years, is when we HAVE to be able to achieve our goals, be creative and notice the opportunities. The problem is we're using words that are prohibiting that being the likely outcome!

Alison
Helping purchasing relationships find the right words

Help me find that logic

2011-01-14T08:55:00.005Z

"I know you are right - because I can feel the strength of your conviction - but currently I don't have all the logic in my head that enables me to agree with you. Please help me find that logic."

This was said to a colleague as we disagreed about something. We'd been speaking for some time and she was getting more and more frustrated that I wasn't agreeing with her.

I have to say I really did believe she was right because she wasn't someone known to get so vocal unless she was sure about something. However saying these words certainly changed the tone of conversation and enabled us both to find different ways of explaining our positions. It wasn't long before we understood each other.

Next time you're in disagreement remember change what you're doing to ensure all parties understand the logic in the situation.

Alison

Alison Smith
Helping purchasing relationships find the logic
07770 538159 alison@alisonsmith.eu

I intend to be me

2011-01-12T15:08:00.004Z

"I intend to be me" was the intention of a recent Transformation Game myself and 3 friends played on New Years eve. What that meant to each of us was very different and included:

* Standing in our own power and asserting our own needs when with others
* Willingly putting ourselves out there even if we're not 100% sure
* Releasing our attachment to moving on
* Remembering we have an option to do nothing
* Appreciating ourselves and others
* Releasing our fear of being wrong
* Allowing balance into our lives - physically, emotional, mentally and spiritually
* Remembering that what inspires us provides us with enthusiasm every day

We realised that "not being me" whether in personal relationships or when at work was too high a price to pay and each committed to release the fear of "being me". Instead we will stand in our power and confidently be ourselves in the world knowing that's how we can make the biggest difference.

What's stopping you from being you and what do you need to do to release it's hold?

Alison

Alison Smith
Helping Purchasing Relationships find their Authenticity
07770 538159 alison@alisonsmith.eu

Acceptance

2010-12-21T09:36:00.010Z

One of the hardest personal development lessons I've found has been taking ownership of how I'm feeling rather than blaming other people e.g

"You made me angry" becomes "I got angry because you did X" or even better "I allowed myself to get angry when you did X."

A book* I was reading recently took it a stage further and suggested that anything we get angry at other people about is an aspect of ourselves that we don't accept. After all we can all be late, less than perfect, selfish, arrogant, lazy, mad, childish, etc etc**. So why is it that sometimes someones lateness, selfishness, laziness makes us angry? The book would suggest it's because we don't accept that quality in ourselves. That is if we don't accept it in ourselves of course we won't accept it in others either.

The trick to releasing the anger is in being able to accept that we have , do or could in the future demonstrate this trait and then seeing the positive this trait provides us. If we do this others demonstrating the trait will then no longer trigger the same response.

Do let me know how you get on - I'm doing it with imperfection!

Festive Greetings and wishing you a wonderful, abundant and laughter filled 2011.

Alison

Alison Smith
Helping Purchasing Relationships take personal responsibility
alison@alisonsmith.eu 07770 538159

* The dark side of the light chasers by Debbie Ford

** Of course even this list simply sheds more light on aspects of myself I don't accept. If you nodded your head and accepted these traits in yourself that's a sure sign that you need another list. You may find you need to write another list to get the emotional trigger to at least initially denying the accuracy of this blog. A sure sign you've got a trait to work on is an emotionally charged response of "I'm never that." Do keep going till you get one of those and then try accepting it!

Stop the blame game - everyone is doing their best

2010-12-21T09:10:00.005Z

Perhaps it's the coach in me but every time I hear someone blame the current situation on someone else I want to jump in and help them understand at least the inaccuracy of the language they're using.

"This is the 2nd time you've done this to me" in reality is "This is the 2nd time this has happened to me."

"They haven't even gritted the road" is really "The road didn't act nor look like it had been gritted recently."

"They should have been able to get the runways clear by now" would at least be "I believe they should have been able to get the runways clear by now."

Notice how the 'energy' changes in the alternative but more realistic statements. I know it's human nature to look to blame someone but that doesn't help our blood pressure, it certainly doesn't help the other person solve the problem and it certainly stops us understanding how we can help.

So next time, before you start to blame someone else for the situation, remember:

* People make the best choice they can at the time
* Every behaviour has a positive intent.

Alison
Stoping those in purchasing relationships from blaming others

Do we thank people so little?

2010-12-11T11:29:00.010Z

Within the last 24 hours a simple thank you has been taken to be a complaint. This makes me very sad - do we receive thanks so little that we automatically assume someone is complaining?

Whilst in the supermarket yesterday I thanked one of the ladies stocking the shelves. It was a thankless task as the produce disappeared as soon as they'd put it out. It was very busy as for many of us it was the first day out for over 2 weeks due to snow and ice. I made a point of thanking one of them saying we appreciated their efforts on keeping the shelves stocked. The lady automatically replied "we're trying our best" in a tone that best suited perhaps earlier complaints about empty shelves.

Unfortunately I had to call the house insurance company this morning and they said someone might not be able to call me until Monday to sort it out. When I received a call 30 minutes later I again thanked them for the hard work in keeping up to date with what must be a huge increase in calls. Again the answer was "we're trying our best" in a similar tone.

It has to be said that thanks made to refuse collectors when collecting the bins, in a local park and at the side of road earlier in the year all received a shocked responses as they finally registered that a member of the public was thanking them for the work they do.

Who have you thanked today?

Alison

Enabling purchasing relationship to show appreciation

It's just all those (other) nutters on the road!

2010-12-09T11:59:00.007Z

I landed at Edinburgh airport 12 days ago hours before the snow hit the area. Having got home safely the car hasn't moved since! I'm very excited to share that tomorrow I hope to be taking to the road again. However from other people's conversations apparently I still need to be wary of the nutters on the road! You know the ones......

Going too fast in their 4x4
Going to fast in any car really
Using their brakes when it's icy
Going out at all when it's a blizzard out there
etc etc

The difficulty I have is who are all these nutters because everyone I speak to believes themselves to be a great example of good, careful and courteous driving and it's all the others that are the nutters.

I wonder what would happen if we accepted that we too can be that nutter on the road?

On a similar vein I hear friends discuss their anger at the application of holiday due to missed days at work due to the snow. Yet I'm not sure many of those people have offered to pay the garage mechanic, milk man, newspaper man, hair dresser, cleaner, window cleaner etc for their cancelled/unavailable services.

So over this festive season before you start having a go at someone for a wrong you perceive them to have done please remember you're just as likely to have done that wrong in the past too. It might just reduce the blood pressure and provide a little more good will to all men at this time of year.

Alison
Helping purchasing relationships to take responsbility

Simples - not really - lowest cost comes at a price!

2010-11-23T12:30:00.009Z

The lack of blogs and tweets from me this month has been due to the time spent travelling back and forth and up and down the country. The content for such blogs hasn't stopped appearing though and the main theme for today's blog 'the price to be paid for low cost' is as a result of all this travelling.

Price one: Unacceptable behaviour
Have you noticed what sort of people we turn into in order to get a seat when using low cost airlines? The tannoy announcement squeaks into life and we're all on our feet and pushing forward. No one listens or cares about the priority boarders and young children who have to fight to come forward. We seem to only care about ourselves - eyes are kept firmly looking at our feet as we push forward to ensure we get choice over where we sit! Not a great advertisement for humanity - and I won't even start on the behaviour once on board trying to put bags into overhead lockers.

Price two: Suppliers start to charge for all those extras
It's a wonder anyone can determine who offers the lowest cost when we get charged for all those extras. Which of course will differ between airlines and on recently trips have included:

A seat - with one airline I have yet to find out how to say I don't want to pay to choose my seat
Airport check-in - when the email doesn't provide any links to do it online
Airport bag-drop - when the internet wouldn't let me change my details when plans changed

Payment - ranging from £4.95 (go on why not just say £5) to £9.95 (£10)

I appreciate these charges should enable me to choose whether to receive the service or not. However being charged for 'must haves' (a seat, payment) and increasing the likelihood of us having to pay the additional admin fees for airport handling are simply ways of increasing revenue for the airlines.

Price three: Specification drift
Is lowest cost what we really want then the lowest car hire price means ringing them up when we arrive at the terminal for them to send a minibus to come to pick us up to take us to the hire car!

Price four: Poor Service
A great example was when we were asked to put our coats and bags on our knees because the overhead lockers were full and people still had bags to put in them!

You might think I'm just having a bad day and enjoying the rant - and yes that's true - but all of these 'Prices' are also evident where we work too. In my own discipline of purchasing it's all too easy to see unhappy suppliers doing the same as the airlines and making us pay for forcing the price down. As a local MD of a SME said to me the other week "that last 10% cost reduction has just cost them all the good will. They will pay for everything extra and I can assure you that will cost them more than 10%".

What price is your company paying in it's search for lowest cost?

Alison
Ensuring purchasing relationships deliver value

There are 3 versions of the story!

2010-10-25T11:47:00.004+01:00

The Lyrics from Shame the latest song from Robbie Williams and Gary Barlow starts with the words...

....."There are 3 versions of the story - mine, and yours and then the truth"

This is something that is often forgotten when we communicate with others. It's so easy to act and speak as if our 'story' is true. It's certainly our reality but it may not be the other persons - and neither interpretations may be strictly accurate.

There's a few things to consider when exploring the 'truth' of a situation:

1. We can't possibly take in 100% of the data available to us.
2. We therefore have to filter the data available.
3. The filters we use will be based on our Values, Beliefs, Memories and Preferences.
4. This process of filtering results in Deletion, Distortion or Generalisation of the situation.

On other words our representation of the situation is as imperfect as the next persons. The key in any communication is remembering this fact and ensuring that before any action is taken that common understanding has been achieved. Otherwise what you think you've asked someone to do may not be what gets delivered.

Alison
Enabling purchasing relationships to understand all versions of the story.

Great expectations

2010-10-13T14:44:00.004+01:00

I heard an interview with Howard Jacobson the winner of the Man Booker Prize 2010 as I drove home last night. After being an early favourite to win he'd been relegated by the bookies to the bottom of the list. As a result of no longer having an expectation of winning he commented that he'd really enjoyed the evening - eating, talking, drinking etc. It came as a HUGE surprise therefore when he was announced as the winner.

I wonder how often our expectations - whether good or bad - get in the way of us enjoying the moment. Howard certainly suggested that if he'd know he was a possible winner he'd not have enjoyed the evening. It's sad that such a great day might have been marred by the expectations weighing so heavily.

On a similar vein my personal trainer had me doing 10/20/30/30/20/10 repetitions of a number of exercises this morning. The dread started with my first repetition - ie before the effects of the physical exertion kicked in. I certainly wasn't happy on one exercise when I thought I was on my 2nd set of 30 to find I was only on my first.

I can think of many other instances where my expectations - good or bad - have seriously impacted my life up until an outcome is known - and who knows may have even negatively impacted the outcome itself.

My call to action today is therefore for us to release our expectations and experience the moment and lets notice what we notice.

Alison
Ensuring judgements and expectations are released in purchasing relationships
http://www.alisonsmith.eu/ alison@alisonsmith.eu 07770 538159

What do you get on your soap box about?

2010-10-06T17:34:00.006+01:00

A small thing but the cashier in M&S commented on how much she also liked a juice I was buying today. I realised in that moment the difference it makes being sold something by someone who has passion for the product.

I have repeatedly told clients that they should ensure the work they do involves something they enjoy, are good at and have passion for. In this context passion isn't just about liking the product or service but being passionate about the difference it makes and being even more passionate about why the difference matters. I usually ask "what do you get on your soap box about?"

The other week I realised whilst I'm good and enjoy helping people get on track and truly believe we should all get out of bed with enthusiasm for the day ahead I don't get on my soap box if you don't.

So I wondered what I did get on my soap box about - of course others could tell me - purchasing and business behaviours! After all I've worked in business within Purchasing/Procurement since I left uni! More and more I can be repeatedly heard saying we need more authenticity, integrity, trust and honesty in business. Because this truly does connect with my passion this purpose provides the motivation every day to want to make a difference.

So having had a dual personality for the last four years and having spent energy trying to keep my 2 halves (Purchasing and Personal development) separate I realise it's time to be authentic in all that I do and bring the two together. So from now on I will be concentrating my efforts on Transforming Purchasing Relationships - those with yourself, as a team and with suppliers.

I'm sure my observations in blogs will continue but I'll be as interested as you to see how they change now I'm no longer schizophrenic!

What do you get on your soap box about? And how can this inspire you every day to make the changes you want to see in the world?

Alison
Helping purchasing relationships find and live their passion

Watch your language

2010-09-28T17:56:00.007+01:00

I use aromatherapy oils to support me in staying alert and enthused during the day and relax in the evening. I've always felt uncomfortable with the one I use in the evening because it's called "Stress" which reminds me to ........ ahh yes get stressed - even though I know it contains oils aimed at relaxation.

I think the person who tweeted from World of Learning (#wolce10) today reminding us we need to concentrate on "well being" rather than "stress reduction" should speak to the originator of the stress oil. It would certainly be more conducive to relaxation if the name of the oil more closely resembled the desired outcome rather than current state.

I also read a blog today where the terms punishment and penalties were used in the same sentence as supplier relationship management. I don't know about you but most relationships I have don't include punishment and penalties. If they want to use such terms then can I suggest they change their desired outcome to that of a contratural arrangement. If it's a relationship they wish to foster then they may wish to rethink the language they're using.

What language are you using and does it support the outcome you want?

Alison
Developing common language within purchasing relationships
alison@alisonsmith.eu 07770 538159

Stop accepting the unacceptable

2010-09-24T15:53:00.006+01:00

I admire the athletes who this week have made the decision to not attend the commonwealth games in India. Not necessarily because I think it's the right decision but because it's the right decision for them and they didn't allow other factors to stop them from making the decision.

Many of these athletes have worked for years to prepare for this event - for many this might be the last time for them to perform in such an event - and yet they still made the decision to not go. It won't have been easy. I'm sure there will have been many trying to convince them otherwise. So hats off, hands clapped and backs patted for their making the decision and sticking to it.

In business I hear too many times that things can't change. Normally, just as with the athletes, it's because a lot of time and effort has been invested in the current outcome. Unfortunately until we start saying NO to the unacceptable and following what's right for us then the unacceptable will continue to claim the high ground (if that's not mixing too many metaphors?).

So next time you accept the unacceptable because it will....

keep the food on the table
make things easier with others
keep your stakeholders happy
make the company money
avoid you having to re do the work

...think again. It's time to start trusting and acting on your convictions not just thinking about it.

Alison

Alison Smith
Ensuring purchasing relationships trust and act on their convictions

Are you using information as a tool for empowerment?

2010-09-21T11:26:00.007+01:00

In a recent conversation about use of his Blackberry Barack Obama was quoted as saying "Information becomes a distraction, a diversion, a form of entertainment, rather than a tool for empowerment."

The challenge of course is how to move beyond the distractions and diversions of the Internet to such a place of empowerment. Here's a few suggestions - I'd love to know how you manage this challenge.

Aim for humanly possible not technically possible.

Just because it's technically possible doesn't mean it's humanly possible. We can't ever hope to keep up with the technology only manage it effectively. There are still only 24 hours in a day and cramming more hours in on the Internet wont help.

80/20
20% of the effort will still deliver 80 of the information. Therefore notice when the law of diminishing returns kicks in and stop looking.

Move beyond the Information to Knowledge, Understanding & Wisdom
More and more information doesn't lead to increased understanding. It's the evaluation of that information that will provide the insights. More depth, less quantity.

Alison

Alison Smith
Empowering purchasing relationships in their use of information and data

iPhone iPhone in my hand who is the ........

2010-09-09T17:53:00.005+01:00

When considering who can help us make comparisons Comparethemeerkat.com comes to mind. Although there are many more out there helping us compare more than meerkats. In fact anything you could wish to compare - finance, food, cars and what are the dating sites if not a means of comparing one potential partner with another. Comparethemeerkat.com has even got an app named iSimples - so there's no getting away from the ability to compare what ever the technology you're using.

Many people who I work with, and I'm not immune either, have challenges around comparisons. Other people are often more this or that than them, or less this or that. With the increase in use of social media the ability to compare ourselves with others has increased dramatically. You don't really need an app to find the evidence to support your own belief about yourself - it's simple - just do a search on google and there you are a list of why you're not good enough........

Hold on a minute I wonder what a comparison app for our skills and attributes would be like......
....see link on RHS in Useful Articles for short story I wrote for those unfavourably comparing themselves with others with a little help from an iPhone app!!

Because we should celebrate our own uniqueness and accept our differences.
Helping you find passion in life.

Alison Smith
http://www.alisonsmith.eu/ 07770 538159 alison@alisonsmith.eu

Lay back and think of England!

2010-08-31T08:46:00.005+01:00

From conversations recently I think that's how many of us are approaching life.

Before you disagree could you please just do an inventory of all areas of your life and confirm how many of them you're perfectly happy with.

Work?
Relationship?
Family?
Friends?
Health?
Fitness?
Home?
Hobbies?
Contribution?

How did you get on?

What I've noticed is we do really seem to put up with a lot of what should be unacceptable in our lives. We just say "That's life", "That's business", "That's relationships for you", "That's just the way it is" or even "That's old age for you."

I had a conversation a few weeks ago with someone who was putting their physical and emotional symptoms down to old age. The problem with that is old age doesn't go away and yet the symptoms could. I remember the new lease of life my dad got when at the age of 75 he got his first PC, or how much happier a friend was when she changed her eating habits, or another friend took up a hobby.

Please don't just lay back and think of England and put up with a life that's not making you happy. Identify the symptoms and then explore the opportunities to getting to the other side. There are always many more opportunities than you think.

and that's me now off on holiday for a PC free week - wooop woop

Helping you find passion in life

Alison
alison@alisonsmith.eu 07770 538159
www.alisonsmith.eu

It might look, feel or sound right to you - but what about to them?

2010-07-18T12:15:00.005+01:00

The means of the communication is the response that we get. In other words if someone doesn't understand what we're saying or even worse has got angry about it often it's not the message they're reacting to but how we're communicating it.

When we communicate with others we often do so in a way that best works for us. However the person we're wishing to communicate to may have different preferences to us. If we don't change how we're communicating to them we'll therefore often miss the opportunity for them to truly understand our message - we might as well be speaking a foreign language.

The key is understanding the different preferences that exist and adapting our communication appropriately to reflect these. Here's just a few suggestions on the different types of preferences we have.
NB Someone's language and behaviour will often give their preference away once we start paying attention to it.

Look/Feel/Sound
Are they more visual, auditory or kinaesthetic. If visual we'll certainly get a better response if we provide a picture or diagram than a 10 page report. Pay attention to the words used too.
If auditory - words such as clarity, harmony, question, tell etc will resonate with the person.
If visual - words such as vision, focus, insight, perspective etc will provide more clarity.
If Kinaesthetic - words such as feel, flow, balance, hold will enable them to grasp what you're saying.

Achievement/Affiliation/Power
Which of these motivates the person the most. It's certainly worth remembering not to tell someone who's motivated by achievement that what they are doing will help them bond with the team. They want to hear words like success, results, aim, goal etc. Affiliation people want to hear words like harmony, support, share, rapport etc. Those motivated by power want to hear words like control, command, impact, influence etc. Well they do if they're motivated 'towards' these things. You'll have to use others words if they're really motivated 'away from' failure, being alone or weak!

Sameness/Difference
If someone looks for sameness then don't tell them all the ways the new system is different to the old one - tell them the similarities first. If they desire difference give it to them.

Options/Procedures
You'll certainly get resistance if you give a set of instructions to someone who has a preference for options and variety. Conversely telling someone who likes a procedure to be flexible may generate resistance instead.

Detail/Big Picture
Don't jump in with lots of details until you've determined whether they like it - many people only need to know the big picture in order to make a decision, many others want to know the big picture to get an idea of whether they want to hear the detail. Someone who likes details loves it and the more the better.

As our preferences come over in all our communications I wonder what preferences you think I may have? and how could I have changed what I said to make more sense for you?

I thought you knew?

2010-07-12T09:32:00.005+01:00

Much is said about how recognition helps with retention of staff and it comes in many forms. For today I'd like to concentrate on the appreciation from a manager of a job well done and how that appreciation is communicated?

Since we often show appreciation as we ourselves would like to be appreciated I'd like to flag to the 40% who know you've done a good job, and don't need to be told, that there's another 40% who need to be told (apparently the remaining 20% do a bit of both). I can assure you that just because you keep giving them the best projects, keep giving them raises and never shout at them doesn't mean they know they've done a good job. I'd even go so far as to suggest that many will continue to doubt they do a good job until they hear otherwise. Just think what that doubt is doing to their performance.

The form and timing of that communication is also important. That is will the individual get more from a public or a private thank you, is it enough to say it or does it mean more in writing? For me I realised that the more the person had gone out of their way to show appreciation the more it meant. So just telling me at the end of a conversation about something else didn't have the same impact as, for example, someone I've never met ringing me within hours of reading my newsletter to say it had had a profound impact on their day.

So please for the 40% who need to know don't just assume they know they've done a good job - tell them.

What's on your To Be list?

2010-06-24T11:54:00.010+01:00

I'm preparing for my 'Pots of Confidence' workshop tonight. Most of the evening will be taken up decorating a mug or plate with words, pictures or designs to inspire - such as the one shown here.

My house is full of such inspiration - postcards, pictures, quotes on every surface. Someone visited last week and couldn't believe I had my mission and values pinned up in my bathroom :-).

I was wondering why doing this was important and why it worked. Then I realised we do it every day for our To Do lists. That is we write a list and check it regularly. We even write reminders for ourselves on post its. So why not do it for our To Be lists?

If I look around my office at my To Be lists then I am reminded to: Love, have Patience, Be the change I wish to see in the world, Joy, Awaken, Boldly reclaim my power and even to Grow wings and fly. They're accompanied by many of my brother's beautiful landscape photographs.

What's on your To Be list and where will you put the reminder?

It came into my heart to do it

2010-06-18T09:26:00.004+01:00

On the way home from a meeting last night I was listening to the Archers on the radio and Eddie Grundy said "It just came into my heart to do it". I just think that's such a wonderful saying. I often use 'it came to mind' and wonder what I'd do differently if I did listen to my heart a little more often? What about you?

How does your garden grow?

2010-06-17T13:39:00.004+01:00

A recent conversation with my neighbour with whom I have an adjoining garden made me realise we have very different views on what efficiency in the garden means. I'd suggest we're at different parts of the spectrum.

To me efficiency in the garden is ensuring I give the flowers optimum and natural conditions for flowering - sun, water, space etc. I'd also suggest it's about me also being able to use the space for relaxation etc. So I place my attention on activities that support this happening. Therefore you may well find weeds in my garden and moss in my lawn but unless I have the time, and unless they're getting in the way of me achieving my desired outcome, I wont do anything more about them.

My downstairs neighbour has a different strategy. It feels to me like their attention is not on the desired outcome but instead they're concentrating more on a to do list e.g "Can we cut back this paeony because it's stopping me cutting the grass" - when it's just about to flower. My outcome of beautiful flowers in the garden is greater than my desire to have the grass a few inches shorter for the next couple of weeks. My neighbour would disagree.

It did get me thinking though about efficiency at work. I like many people have a to do list. Yet how many of those things would be on that to do list if I applied the same logic to my work as I do my garden? and in the past how much stress have I given myself by rigidly keeping to my to do list when it no longer serves the outcome I want?

Which all reminds me about a card I have which says "The difference between a flower and a weed is a judgement" - isn't efficiency about determining just what and how many of those weeds need taking out rather than removing every last one?

Do you know or do you need to be told

2010-06-16T09:50:00.005+01:00

I saw the next door cat as I came home last night. Well I heard her first - as they've just added a collar with bell to try to stop her catching birds. Poor thing looked very dejected as she walked along the path. From the point of view of the cat I would imagine she's happy if she catches the bird and yet her owners are happy when she doesn't. In this instance it's really easy to understand what a good day looks like for both parties and understand how they are different. The cat's also unlikely to be impacted by the owners beliefs and visa versa.

In our lives I'm not sure it's always that easy. I had a GREAT day yesterday and yet is that because I know I did or because this morning I've had tweets and emails thanking me for the inspiration in my blog, newsletter, coaching and a workshop? and if I hadn't got that response or even worse if I'd got less than enthusiastic responses would it have meant it wasn't a great day or I hadn't done a good job?

I know our goals have an impact on the judgements we make but there's also something else that impacts us and that's whether we're internally or externally referenced. That is do you know you've done a good job or do you need someone else to tell you?

Both have their down sides - someone who is internally referenced and knows they've done a good job can find it hard to see other people's points of view and not understand nor accept feedback on how their performance could have been improved. Those who are externally referenced may sit there waiting for feedback and if it's less than positive may take it very much to heart.

The key is understanding your preference and the up and down side of this. Then working on either being more open to others opinions or not needing them at all. When working with others it's about understanding their preference too and perhaps ensuring those externally referenced get the praise and you find a way of providing feedback to those who are internally referenced in a way that they are able to hear.

I know for me it's about listening more to my intuition in the moment about whether I'm doing a good job and turning down the negative internal chatter that appears after I've finished anything that seems to undermine my achievements.

What about you? Do you need to listen more to others feedback or turn down your sensitivity to their comments?

Pleasure - are you getting enough?

2010-06-14T12:37:00.003+01:00

"You must love waking up to that view" said a friend at the weekend?
(For those that don't know it's a view which includes the beach, the Firth of Forth and Edinburgh on the skyline and one that I often maintain keeps me sane.)
"I'm not sure I notice it anymore" I replied!

Just one of many reminders this weekend that I'm forgetting to stop and take pleasure in the small things.

The other example was whilst having a facial. The women took her time as she applied the facial scrub and then the face mask. I found it wonderfully relaxing as she placed hot towels on my face and gently used them to remove the scrub and later the mask from my face. Again the application of moisturiser was delightful. A pleasurable experience and one that left me feeling relaxed, positive and good about myself.

I don't know about you but when left to my own devices I don't take that time, I don't delight nor revel and take pleasure from many of my daily routines - and yet the answer should be why?

In a day that's full of doing and sometimes a distinct lack of pleasure why not take those extra few minutes throughout the day to give yourself a boost of pleasure by taking time to look at the view or savour your favourite lunch.

I'd love to know how you get on - so do share your little pleasures with us so we may be inspired to find them in everything we do too.

Who are we not to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?

2010-06-10T11:18:00.010+01:00

'...we ask ourselves "who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?" Actually who are you not to be...' Marianne Williamson

I painted this plate with Marianne's words on my recent holiday and now have a daily reminder as I eat of how fabulous I am :-).

The quote also goes on to say
'..as we let our light shine we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same...'

I wonder what daily reminders you have around you to ensure you too remember to allow your light to shine and remember how brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous you are?

Are you in 1st or 5th gear or on cruise control?

2010-05-28T08:53:00.006+01:00

Go on humour me and just try sitting there doing nothing for 5 minutes.

Please.

How did you get on? I would imagine there will have been a number of reactions:

Not bothering to do nothing
Start and give up after a minute
Do nothing with one eye on the Internet
Do nothing successfully for 5 minutes
Do nothing for 10 minutes

It was such great weather at the weekend - yes even in Scotland - so I sat in the garden chatting with a friend. We must have been there for 4 hours. During that time I never managed more than 20 minutes in the chair at any time. I fidgeted for the whole time - I moved my chair, went to get a drink or wandered around the garden. My friend on the other hand was in her chair for the duration. In fact 4 hours relaxing was a record for me and that was only possible because that took place after a holiday of 2 weeks.

I would suggest my friend was in cruise control and I was in 1st gear! I wouldn't dream of running my car in 1st all day so why do I think I can do that to myself?

I can hear some people saying they don't need to do nothing and anyway it's such a waste of time. I met someone last year who worked 60 hours a week and then relaxed by being on so many committees and in what time he had left was on the golf club!! Wired wasn't the word for him!

Quite time doing nothing daily helps our mind, body and soul in so many ways. Just try it for a week and notice the positive impact.

PASSION in Business

2010-04-27T14:39:00.004+01:00

I realised I talked a lot about business values and hadn't written any myself so I rectified that the other week. Imagine my surprise when they started to spell the word PASSION and even more when I realised the first value would be profitability!!

PASSION - without passion where would a business be!

Profitability - a reminder for me that we wont be able to keep doing what we're doing unless the work we do is profitable. Others may not need reminding but I do otherwise I'll keep forgetting to value (ie charge for) the service we provide. I love that it ended up being first on the list. We'll also apply this value when dealing with suppliers and other partners.

Authenticity - about saying "No" not "Yes" if that's the right thing to do and searching for those who we can easily say yes to because they accept us for who we are.

Sustainability - ensuring actions allow for the sustainability of our business, others' businesses and the planet.

Service - remembering why we do what we do ie to make a difference in others' lives by getting them back on track and connected to what gives them passion every day.

Intuition - not all business decisions will come with logic and lots of supportive data.

Openness - being honest sharing who we are and our journey and walking our talk even if we don't always find it easy.

Nurture -nurturing others so they may develop and grow and be the change they want to see in the world.

I'll let you know how we get on.

Inspiration to make a difference in the world in under 3 words

2010-04-07T07:36:00.005+01:00

Pathfinder, Simplicity in Crisis, Unlocking Profit, Making Genuine Connections and Light in the Dark (ok that's 4 words) have all been recent examples of missions identified in recent sessions with people.

The discussions arose whilst exploring the seven steps out of the creek. Many realised they had got as far as Mission and got stuck!! There seemed to be so many things they could be doing and therefore lots of potential customers. However they didn't seem to be quite generating the attraction they needed or weren't quite enjoying their work as much as they knew they could.

Ever since starting working for myself I've been told to find my niche. The desire not to restrict potential customers has meant I'd ignored doing that. Until I realised that I could have more passion every day if I stuck to what I was really really good at than trying to do things I was just good at. Of course I'd also be doing what provided the most value to my clients too.

To get the answers above we just explored what we were really really good at (and enjoyed and had passion for) - and more importantly what benefit/value it delivered to our customers. The hard part was then identifying 2/3 words to describe the work that inspired us. We could look at what words we'd use with clients later - our mission is something we can connect with that provides daily inspiration and a reminder why we do what we do and how we can make the biggest difference in the world.

Recharge your batteries

2010-04-05T07:45:00.004+01:00

I don't know about you but I have to keep an eye on my energy levels. A recent increase in activity and enthusiasm has meant the need to recharge my batteries has been at the forefront of my mind.

So imagine the scene - I've just sent some emails mentioning the need for me to ensure my energy levels are maintained. I walk into the kitchen and decide to make myself some porridge. I put the spoon into the box to bring out some oats and what comes out but some oats and an AA battery!!!

A long story how they (there was 2) got there but a great reminder that recharging our batteries is as much about what we eat as it is exercise and everything else we do.

It starts with giving

2010-04-01T15:00:00.004+01:00

At a recent workshop I tracked a number of my projects to highlight the benefits of networking. However when I traced the work back to it's origin I realised that that was more about giving than getting. Yes I'd got some work out of the interactions but the original intention was more about me sharing myself and being of service to others.

The examples of giving included: Volunteering for Young Enterprise and Action For Children, offering advice and sharing thoughts on LinkedIn discussions, sending congratulations to fellow purchasers on their success, ad-hoc coaching, sharing articles, speaking, introducing people and general enthusiasm for other people's books, workshops and groups.

The key of course was giving with no attachment to outcome other than to be of help and assistance and because it made sense.

Simply STOP what you're doing

2010-03-21T11:33:00.003Z

In the book I've written Stop is the first step out of the creek and getting back on track. The more I work with people and talk on the subject the more important I realise Stopping is when doing anything in life.

It's easy to understand metaphorically when we're up the creek that stopping would be useful. It's easy to understand that to not continue to move up the creek any further might be useful. It's easy to understand that stopping might provide time to assess the situation and understand what direction to take in the future. It's also easy to understand that going around like a headless chicken isn't helping. It just doesn't seem so easy to do it and STOP. It's as if the one thing that would help - ie stopping is the one thing we're unable or unwilling to do.

What I realise is stopping is important at any new turn in the river not just when we're up the creek. That is before committing to taking a particular course in the river stop and reflect on what's driving the decision and understand how it aligns with your passion and purpose in life. It's only then that you can ensure you start to avoid the creeks in life.

Love and Acceptance

2010-03-21T10:55:00.018Z

Please find below highlights and insights from a solo Transformation Game with the intention 'I intend to love and accept myself exactly as I am'. Further details of the process used can be found in the 'Transformation Game' article found on the list of articles on the RHS of this screen.

Please note the Transformation Game is used with a personal rather than business audience. Some of the language and examples used therefore are more appropriate for a personal audience - I have however chosen not to translate nor amend the notes here. Instead I invite you to simply amend any words or ignore any examples that get in the way of your learning and any insight taking place.

I have used a game played on behalf of a character from my forthcoming book and facilitated by her coach. Anne is 35 and got divorced three years ago. Whilst everyone else thinks she's doing well she's constantly tired and certainly isn't as happy as everyone expects her to be.

For Anne the challenge with loving herself exactly as she is has been the constant need for development and belief that there's a perfect state of being that she needs to attain. Which meant she realised that she would only love herself when she achieves that state of perfection and not before!

What about you? Before reading further you may wish to spend some time considering your own relationship with the intention. Do you love and accept yourself exactly as you are? If not are there certain times or certain people who help you to do this and others who hinder? How would life be different if you did? With that in mind please consider your reaction to the following cards, and where helpful Anne's interpretation (Playing a game, whether on your own, with others, facilitated or not would of course add a depth of exploration we've not been able to share here):

Angel: of Delight :-).
For Anne this was a reminder to enjoy the journey of life not make it about continual improvement. Which of recent times seems to have reinforced a belief in the lack of perfection rather than see the perfection in simply being.

Insight: You are able to point out a friends lack of awareness without appearing judgmental or making them feel inadequate or inferior.
Which prompted her coach to ask Anne if she can do this with others why not herself? A reminder that she wasn't inadequate nor inferior even if she had things she wanted to change.

Setback: You are setback by your infatuation.
The dictionary describes infatuation as 'a foolish or exaggerated passion'. They wondered in this context whether that meant that passion for perfection is foolish? Of course the key is understanding how that sets us back and for Anne it was the procrastination that comes from not doing things until she's got better or reached perfection! As Anne remembered a time when she did this then she realised it's also taking a lot to energy to hold herself back from doing all those things she wants to do in the world. No wonder she was tired!

(If you're exploring your own relationship to the cards you may want to identify and fully describe a time when you were set back infatuation too. This is the case for all setbacks as connecting with the pain involved may help release the setback.)

Angel: of Purification.
For Anne connecting to this energy felt like a release of all the beliefs that she had that had kept her infatuated with perfection. "A bit like turning off the PC and turning it on again when we've tried everything else to resolve a problem!" she said.

Insight: You meet the needs of others as though they were your own.
When Anne thought about doing this, because her focus was on being of service to the other person, she forgot about the unhelpful beliefs and just accepted that who she was enough.

Setback: You are set back by your resentment.
Yes resentment of all those people who Anne thought had achieved perfection and who she'd put up on a pedestal! The real setback was resentment took up time and energy and resulted in lack of focus on what she wanted to be doing. So a reminder to start taking the initiative and also be grateful and appreciative when she saw people clearly doing what she knew she wanted and could do.

Insight: You stepped out and crossed over the line beyond your dreams, beyond your drama and into the truth of life.
Anne loved this card. She said "It's such a great reminder to just blinking get on with it and stop faffing about!". Life could be so much more than it is and Anne realised it was only herself stopping her doing that!

Setback: "I'm not willing to put myself out there unless I'm 100% sure"
A GREAT reminder that this belief still has the capacity to stop us in our tracks! That stepping out beyond our drama means putting ourselves out there NOW.

(What about you? what could you do today to put yourself out there? Whilst reading our interpretations might be useful finding your own relationship with the cards will help you understand any actions you could be taking.)

Insight: Tough assignments are only given to the best students.
:-) - A reminder Anne could handle it.

Setback: You are set back by your defensiveness.
Anne got very defensive when discussing this card. As she connected with the feeling of defensiveness she realised she stopped listening, started defending and justifying and just dug herself into a big hole. A hole that took some time to get out of once the reason for the defences had gone. Not that helpful really she realised.

(What are you being defensive about?)

Setback: You are set back by your attachment.
Anne realised she was attached to 'developing' and that attachment was driving a lot of behaviours which were getting in the way of being in the moment and enjoying the journey. Which continued from the last setback on not listening and added: not noticing, not enjoying, not exploring, not laughing, not.. not... not... mmm which sort of defeats the object she realised!

Which Anne summarised when she said "I'm making it much too much hard work and I need to get into that energy of Delight, Transformation and Magic that I talk about often not this constant not being enough anal gazing!"

Insight: I love and accept myself exactly as I am.
They did laugh when this card emerged as it seemed to be suggesting Anne was nearly there even if she still had one more insight to go. The 5 awareness tokens (rather than 3 for most insights) that came with the card were a reminder of the benefit to be gained from truly embracing this affirmation. Anne started to understand how life would be different as a result and how happiness was in the moment not something to be found when certain criteria where achieved.

Anne's last card was
Insight: I forgive everyone, I forgive myself, I forgive all past experience. I am free!
Which seemed to be about forgiving herself for the past and fully connecting with the angel of delight!

(What about you? How do you relate differently to the affirmation ' I love and accept myself exactly as I am'? What actions have you identified as you read these notes - when will you take them? Do you need to share them with anyone to ensure they get done?)

The process, insight, setback and angel cards used here are from the Transformation Game copyright Innerlinks http://www.innerlinks.com/.

The Transformation Game can be purchased from Amazon and Findhorn. Facilitated games are available worldwide and games for 1-12 people are currently available in Scotland with the author and other UK locations and worldwide if you want me there in the future.

Business values - time to wake up and smell the coffee

2010-03-09T18:31:00.011Z

As a business owner do your business values reflect your own personal values or do they additionally include values that ensure the sustainability of the business? As a manager of an organisation are the values consistent with still being here in a year's time?

In the preparation for a session I facilitated I had to explore a variety of business values statements and I was surprised with what I found. Values statements are intended to reflect the values that will ensure those working for the organisation know why they're doing what they're doing and how to do it.

Lets just compare 3 organisations stated values:
Microsoft
Integrity, Honesty, Openness, Personal Excellence, Constructive Self Criticism, Continual Self Improvement and Mutual Respect.
Body Shop
Against Animal Testing, Support Community Trade, Active Self Esteem, Defend Human Rights, Protect Our Planet.
Innocent Drinks
Natural, Entrepreneurial, Generous, Commercial, Responsible.

I'd suggest looking at the values statements that Innocent Drinks is the one that has taken seriously the need for the values to reflect reality and to include the need to sustain the organisation in the future.

A real eye opener for me and a reminder that my business isn't me and needs to have different (or perhaps just additional) values that are more entrepreneurial.

When did you last turn your mobile off?

2010-03-09T18:09:00.007Z

..and I mean for more than an hour for a meeting? Asking people this question has generated such a great response with lots of "Yes ...but" excuses and yes I mean excuses. Is anything so important 365 days a year to mean we can't have just one day without access to the phone?

I went to Islay the other weekend and had 5 days without turning on my PC. Yes no LinkedIn, no Twitter and no blog for 5 days!! However despite intermittent reception I never turned my mobile off - now that would have been a step too far!!

However it was in one remote part of the island where I could hear nothing except nature (water, wind, seals, birds etc) that I finally got it. I could feel myself letting go of all the constant doing and I relaxed and of course life seemed a lot different from this more grounded place.

The first step out of the creek is Stop and it really means STOP. Take time to ground and feel connected to nature and the living world around you. It's only then that you can be certain that decisions made are not based on fear.

So if your response to me suggesting you turn your phone off is "that's cool and a great idea" you don't really need to. If your response involves any excuses I'd suggest you do.

Are you connected to or have you abandoned your personal values?

2010-02-18T17:50:00.005Z

I've had lots of conversations with people over the last few weeks either unhappy and unmotivated themselves or with unhappy and unmotivated people working for them. In all cases this was negatively impacting the company's brand.

The problem seemed to be the non alignment of values between the individuals and the company. In fact not non alignment as much as they'd abandoned their values!! The WHY they had allowed this to happen had a few components.

In some cases the person just wasn't clear enough about what their personal mission statement was. So they joined or even set up an organisation that seemed to meet their needs and then became unhappy when their unconscious needs weren't being met. Understanding what motivates you and the outcome you want to have on others is really important in ensuring that you can jump out of bed with enthusiasm every day. This can take some time but is well worth the effort. I'd also suggest it doesn't have to be in words that others understand. This is about finding the words that best motivate you.

For example my personal mission is I'm a path finder - I help people transform their lives by getting them on their path. That may not make sense nor motivate anyone else but so long as that informs what I choose to do and what I choose not to do that's what's important. As you will see from my web site, blog, LinkedIn and Twitter I choose to translate this into Paddle Finder for career creeks. Clients find this description easier to understand what I can do for them and relate to.

If you're clear about your own personal mission statement it will be a lot easier to keep on track when aligning with an organisations mission. Are you clear about your personal mission?

The other type of situation was people joining an organisation where their values were not aligned with those of the organisation. They therefore then apply and operate from their values when working on behalf of the organisation. The problem here is that others then see how they operate as representing the organisation. Which can significantly and sometimes negatively impact the perception of the organisation's brand.

Agreeing values statements and code of behaviour to meet these values is one solution. However sometimes it's simply the case that the person's values will always conflict with those of the organisation and they should not continue to work there. A hard decision but one that is best for both in the long run.

How does you personal mission statement align with that of the organisation? What changes do you need to make to achieve better alignment?

Improvement in my health and fitness means more Paddles found!

2010-02-15T13:48:00.014Z

Is your means of inspiration restricting your success?

I had a conversation with my personal trainer about my health and fitness goals and realised the reason for their success or failure will be the same as any goal I set myself. That is:

without clarity of direction - how do I know what action to take
without inspiration and motivation - why bother
without action - I'll never get anywhere

I think I'm clear about what I want (and if you're not see the Well Formed Outcome on the rhs of this blog). So if I can get the WHY right I'll be inspired to be motivated to take the necessary action and not sit here eating chocolates as I type this!!

Which has got me thinking about the different motivations we have for improving our health and fitness.

On my NLP trainer trainer we were introduced to 3 groups of motivators:

Achievement
Power
Affiliation

We each have a preference for one of these which will mean we have different whys for health and fitness dependant on our preference:

Achievement: to reduce weight by y, to run a marathon in under x hrs, to fit into a size z etc. Or not to fail at any of these.
Power: to do what I choose rather than being limited by my health or fitness
Affiliation: ......

And here's today's learning for me. I am motivated by affiliation but can see many reasons why this doesn't always work for me to achieve improvement in my health and fitness.

I went to the gym every week with Di because I'd promised her and enjoyed her company. As soon as she was unavailable and subsequently moved I didn't go!!
I went to a dance class and had fun with Lindsey. When her job changed and she couldn't make it the whooping in class wasn't the same and I found more reasons to not go.
I now have a personal trainer and I enjoy the sessions and certainly don't want to let him down so attend sessions regularly. If he's on holiday I don't do anything!!!!
When I had a lodger or have visitors I eat much more healthily. Living on my own doesn't provide the same motivation.

In the past I also realise my affiliative desire meant that health and fitness activities were undertaken to:

Make myself more attractive
Pacify family and friends who were nagging
Be loved

But success was short lived. As my personal trainer said in a class the other week "If you don't love yourself first how can anyone else." Which is the crux of the problem. Affiliation naturally means we look outside ourselves for the reason why we do something. Our health and fitness is personal so how can we make that work?

Which still leaves me with a lack of sustained motivation for my health and fitness.

If I had children I could use the motivation that I want to be able to play easily and tirelessly with them and even be here for my grandchildren. (I have to say I was very pleased I managed a handstand and cartwheel at Imogen's 3rd birthday party last year - so I can see that could inspire).
I could try making health and fitness a means to an end and tie it into me being able to help more people transform their lives and get back on track. Every inch and every pound lost means another 1000 people transformed (based on increased longevity?). I can certainly feel the difference and will write that on a flip chart and put it on the wall in the kitchen.

But that still feels like a cop out.

I wonder about connecting to my higher self and doing it for who I could be at my best? Which feels better and isn't about doing it for others.

I'll let you know how I get on - once I've finished the chocolates. Although as I've been typing the blog the words used have changed from health and fitness to MY health and fitness so something has shifted.

I'm not letting you get away with it either. What do you need to do to take charge of your lack of motivation and be inspired to take action?

Are you over extending yourself?

2010-01-25T16:47:00.005Z

During Personal Training today we did some boxing. During the session I got a few twinges from muscles that I knew I shouldn't be using. On assessing my technique we realised I was over extending myself. If I continued for too long then the twinges would turn into something with longer term damage and impact.

That got me wondering about how we over extend ourselves in life. We try too hard, we push to far, we do too much. In the short term perhaps not a problem at all. But just like in PT today if we continue the strategy of over extending then we can't help but be impacted in the long term.

If I'd got my technique right I'd have been more effective. Which reminds me of a fabby session with Graham Canning of the Kaizen Institute the other week that had me thinking about applying lean principles to every day life not just car manufacturing! Sometimes being effective it's not about doing more but less.

Who takes ownership of business communications

2010-01-25T14:58:00.009Z

In my last blog entry and in a couple of LinkedIn groups I issued a challenge to 'say it is as it is'.

It's interesting that whilst the example I used was a business one people suggested using caution when 'saying it as it is' personally. Quite rightly I was told that we don't just share an opinion with others without first considering the validity of them needing to hear our opinion nor consider their feelings. Empathy and rapport were both mentioned when considering the timing, words, tone and way in which the opinions are shared.

It made me wonder if that's what's missing in business communications? It's all too easy for someone to send out a company missive and hide behind the anonymity e.g:

* You're flight's been delayed by 3 hours and can't tell you any more.
* You're on the aircraft and the doors are closed but we're not taking off for 2 hours.

As soon as we spoke to a person - at the desk or the pilot - the message changed. There was certainly more empathy and rapport.

I'm not sure what the answer is but something to consider when asking business to say it as it is.

Say it as it is - campaign for 2010

2010-01-13T10:39:00.007Z

I'm typing this from the runway, near enough anyway as I am on the plane. I arrived at 05.00 and it's now nearly 6 hours later and I'm still at the same airport even if on a different flight to a different airport!!!

Not a lot any airline can do about the impact of snow on their ability to land aircraft safely. A lot an airline can do on how they choose to communicate to their travellers. I've had 2 different experiences so far this morning.

The first is the type I'm sure we'll all used to - corporate lines, half truths to reduce the potential costs or negative response from the customers. Or even worse being told what they think you want to hear rather than the truth. Frustrating to be at the receiving end of and no use to enable us to make decisions or understand why we're not getting the service we expect.

The second is the refreshing type of saying is as it is. The BMI Captain on BD053 this morning did just that. "Sorry we're not going anywhere - this is why and more importantly this is why we've boarded you and what we need to do to increase our chances of getting an earlier departure time. Yes that has repercussions on the options you have but it's a choice I've had to make." WOW - that's honesty - thank you. And I think has meant we're still here 2 hours later and relatively calm.

I certainly aim to operate from 'saying it as it is'. It's not always easy and I often get told that I shouldn't be so open. That is the clients don't need to know the choices we've had to make nor problems we might be having. I disagree not least because people have a 'flannel/waffle' filter and know even if unconsciously they're not getting told everything. Which can lead to unwarranted mistrust or worse.

So my call for action today is to 'say it is as it is', congratulate those who do and let those who don't know that you'd appreciate their honesty and openness.

Make 2010 a year to remember

2009-12-08T12:19:00.005Z

Flexibility - Values - Optimism - are the keys.

Well they were at the discussion I facilitated this morning at a 4n networking event on the above and I've like to share the highlights with you.

I do have access to a number of different tools to help set goals for 2010. However a comment at the Transformation game I facilitated at the weekend reminded me that we'll have a year to remember when we get our way of 'being' right!

With that thought in mind I didn't share my 7 step out of the creek process nor the NLP Well Formed Outcome process (although links to both can be found on the RHS of this blog). Instead I used the Frameworks for change Coaching Process (FCP - again see RHS for explanation of the process) and invited my audience to participate and find their own connections with the cards. Which you might like to do before I share mine:

Mentor: Flexibility
Insight: I model my values at work
Setback: "If I'm not winning, I find it hard to celebrate anyone else's success"
Insight: I'm willing to bear the discomfort involved in shifting perspective
Mentor: Optimism

Flexibility: To be open to make changes and think and act differently. What do you need to do to be more flexible?

I model my values at work: Do you really? What would that mean? I got tearful when facilitating today because this is something I feel strongly about and yet it gives me the most challenge. Can I walk my talk as I talked about in my last newsletter? Can I say NO to work because it doesn't align with my values even when the bank balance says YES!! What about you - what are you being asked to do to ensure you model your values at work?

"If I'm not winning - I find it hard to celebrate anyone else's success": We discussed the impact on us of others in communities or organisations saying this? If a business' sole focus is on sales that they're not getting how easy is it within that business to celebrate anything? The setback is the negative impact and spiral down that can have on everyone in the business. In some respects if we're not winning the best thing for morale is to start celebrating others successes. At least that will get everyone in the right mindset.

I'm willing to bear the discomfort involved in shifting perspective: Which is what we have to be able to do if things aren't working out for us. A mindset that allows us to stay positive and be flexible to make the necessary changes - even if it can be uncomfortable.

Optimism: For 2010 to be a year to remember we certainly need to be optimistic about that being a realistic outcome. Without optimism we might was well give up now and I for one know 2010 will be a year to remember -for all the right reasons.

What way of being do you need to embrace to ensure 2010 is a year to remember?

Sometimes you have all you need

2009-12-07T07:53:00.004Z

Over the weekend I was having visitors. We'd agreed in advance who was bringing what for lunch and refreshments etc. One item on my list was juice. On Friday night I looked in the fridge and realised I only had grapefruit juice and didn't think that offered enough choice. I believed I'd have to go out and buy some more juice early the next morning.

However the next morning my eye caught sight of some apples. It's only then I realised I certainly had all the ingredients for my speciality home made juice: apple, carrot, lime and ginger - mmmmm.

I then wondered how often in life we think we need to look outside ourselves for something when what we have inside is infinitely better.

What would make you proud to have named after you?

2009-11-25T16:46:00.005Z

Interesting how things happen. Dr Who names a galaxy Alison. I ask a question in LinkedIn about what would make you the proudest to have named after you (not a person). And the responses provide me with the perfect question for my workshops when discussing step 3 of a process I've developed called Mission! (see link)

The last blog will have given you a sense of the 7 steps I've developed to help you get out of the creek or take action to avoid going down it in the first place. After stopping and putting on your life jacket the third step is about using what you enjoy, are good and have passion for, along with connecting to your values, to identify your mission or purpose for your life. In other words what will get you out of bed in the morning with enthusiasm? (This was discussed in my contribution to How not to be like your parents - again see links on rhs.)

I've tried many different questions to get to the heart of the matter and so have others - what's your legacy, what would your eulogy say, what difference would you most like to make in the world etc etc. The question 'what would make you proudest to have named after you' seemed to hit the mark. The answers have been truly inspiring:

Those things being named included: schools, colours, streets, institutions, libraries, rooms, processes, methods, cures, vaccines, parks, funds, charities, awards, hospitals, ways of living, roses and butterflies.

It was the why these would be named after them that seemed to tap into their mission - the difference they wanted to make in life.

What would make you proudest? and why? and what can you do today to start to make it a reality? You may not get the library named after you but you will have made a difference.

Get out of the creek

2009-11-21T14:45:00.011Z

I'd like to tell you a story and it's about @upcreek and @paddlefinder. It's a story about how to get out of the creek. It's also a story about the new way to work. It all started with a tweet....

Upcreek: I'm up the creek without a paddle - get me out of here.
PaddleFinder: I can help you.
Upcreek: What do I need to do?
PaddleFinder: Simple - first you've got to stop.
Upcreek: That sounds right.
PaddleFinder: and then put on your life jacket.
Upcreek: You're joking right?
PaddleFinder: and then agree your mission.
Upcreek: Like on star trek and "to boldly go where no man has gone before" you mean?
PaddleFinder: Possibly - and then pick your fellow guides and travellers.
Upcreek: WHAT?
PaddleFinder: and then it's simply Map, Compass and Paddle.
Upcreek: Who are you @PaddleFinder?
PaddleFinder: The person who can help you get out of the creek.

The rest of the tweets can be found by searching twitter for #utc01 followed in turn by #utc02, #utc03 and #utc04 (the original trial using twitter used #rbcm but it seemed easier to split it into chapters). The full transcript is available now - see links on RHS.

The tweets in addition to using extracts from my forthcoming book 'I'm up the creek without a paddle - get me out of here' (see links to extract).

Sometimes not winning means you do

2009-11-16T10:35:00.005Z

The title may have given it away - I didn't win the SFactor (XFactor for speakers) competition on Friday at the PSA convention. Congratulations and very well done to Simon Bucknall who did. My reaction and subsequent learning however would never have been available if I had won and that was worth much more to me.

At the end of the heat in Scotland in Sept I was really happy with how I'd performed. I knew it could be improved but I was happy I'd done my best. In the final on Friday I knew I hadn't and went into the familiar pattern of beating myself up for not being 'perfect'. Only minutes before I'd been speaking to someone and was in the zone. How did I so quickly lose that feeling when I stood up?

The speech by Alvin Law (http://www.alvinlaw.com/) that night helped me understand. I'd made it about me and not my audience.

Whilst practicing I had envisaged sharing what steps to take when you're 'Up the creek without a paddle' with my audience. I'd envisaged the words being of help and service to others and them being able to get out of the creek as a result. On the night that went out the window - or should that be up the creek! I'd even written here inmy blog and in the recent PSA magazine about our energy when we speak. I talked about grounding, connecting and communicating and yet I didn't fully walk my talk. My thoughts weren't on the audience they were on me winning, me beating others, me feeling nervous, me doing a good job, me using it to promote what I do - me me me me me!

Is this a pattern I can fall into when speaking - Yes. Would I have understood that when I heard Alvin speak later if I'd thought for one moment I'd nailed my speech earlier in the evening - No. There's a card in a process I use when coaching clients that says 'Vulnerability is the perfect protection'. I believe that the vulnerability I felt by not doing my best on Friday meant I was able to hear a message that will truly enable me to connect and make a difference in the future.

I didn't win the competition but the learning I got was the real win for me. So next time you think you've lost look for the real win and you might be surprised.

Do you have the XFactor - Part II

2009-10-26T06:45:00.008Z

My last blog suggested having the XFactor is about the internal movie we're imagining that impacts how confident we feel and our connection with the audience and words we're saying.

There's another factor too and that was clear in this weekend's XFactor show. That's where is your attention when you're speaking? Is it on you, your audience, the words, the applause at the end, the potential contract in a few months time or even on what happened last time you spoke?

So long as you've got the right internal movie to allow you to connect with the audience (see previous blog) then your attention should be on being authentically you. If you're worrying about impressing the audience or what will happen if you fail then you're not in the moment. The audience isn't getting 100% of you. They're getting a lot less and they know it.

One way to turn off the internal dialogue that's not in the moment is to take your attention into your body and feel it - it's certainly hard to think about something else if you're thinking about your feet, legs or arms!

There's a card in the Transformation Game that says 'you forgot you were a radiantly beautiful cosmic miracle and you forgot everyone else was too'. This reminds me I'm perfect as I am and there's no need to try impress and be somone I'm not. When I'm just being me that's when I have the XFactor. What about you?

Do you have the XFactor when you're on the stage?

2009-10-24T20:39:00.010+01:00

If you're speaking to an audience whether that's to 5 people or 1000, or even singing as they did tonight on the XFactor, what as they say in NLP makes the difference that makes the difference? What gives a performer - style, charisma, confidence and the performance - credibility and meaning? For me it's as much about what's going on in the performers mind as their technical skill or words they saying.

If you were imagining standing up on the back of a rocking horse or even a real one for that matter - how balanced would you feel? If you were imagining being a single Lilliputian in front of Gulliver how would that make you feel? If you were imagining a brick wall between you and the audience what would happen? If you were imagining your words were bullets how would the audience react? I doubt they'd think you had the XFactor - and neither would you!

So next time you need the XFactor check: what's going on in your head and what pictures you are painting or soundtracks are you playing to ensure they support not hinder you being: Grounded, Connected and Communicating effectively.

Grounded - This gives you self belief and confidence.
To stay grounded you may imagine: Having roots coming out of your feet or wearing heavy boots or being attached to an anchor secured to the ground. Alternatively what about being a knight in shining armour or imagining being at a celebration in the future (wedding day or child's first day at school etc).

Connected - This provides connection to others
To connect to your audience or other members of your group you may imagine: chains or paths connecting you to the audience or group members, or being one petal of a flower, or a golden shining heart open to the audience or just being with friends or loved ones.

Communicating - This provides understanding
To allow the message to be communicated you may imagine: your words being light or flowing water from you to your audience or gift wrapped presents you offer them or even a butterfly visiting every person in the audience.

You may even want to write to change the story from unhelpful to helpful - see The woman and her castle on RHS for a story I wrote to help someone connect with others.

We'll each find different metaphors work best for us but I can guarantee if you find the one that works for you you really will have found the XFactor.

My lastest newsletter (see links) also touches on this when it explains the NLP techniques used by both Little Miss Sunshine and Mr Happy.

Patience

2009-10-21T14:57:00.002+01:00

Most personal training sessions include some time with me using boxing gloves and my personal trainer providing the resistance. Apparently my technique has got a lot better. However at least once a week he stops me to refine some aspect of my moves.

Yesterday he felt that I was just swinging my jabs and not going back to my guard in-between. In other words continuous movement, no technique, no accuracy and certainly no force behind the jabs. Or left/right/left/right/left right until I got tired!! So he told me that he would remove the pad and I could only jab when he placed it back in front of me. Left, Right, and I nearly fell over as I automatically moved for another left to find out there was no pad to hit in front of me. Try again - Left, Right....agh I still managed to wobble as I eventually remembered to bring both hands back to guard position. “You need to be patient Alison” he said as he could see my frustration and desire to just get into the left, right, left rhythm. Left, right, (breath) guard. Left, right, guard, left, right, guard.

Slowly I managed to get into the rhythm but something else happened. I realised my reactions were different. Instead of just getting into a rhythm and swinging and hitting the pad because it was there I was waiting until the pad was in front of me and then intentionally hitting it. It was as if the extra time to bring my hands back to guard was enabling me to remember my objective, to centre myself, before taking action again! It certainly gave me a new perspective on patience.

F.E.A.R

2009-10-20T09:15:00.004+01:00

Cavemen were afraid of things that threatened their physical survival. Afraid in dangerous situations that really did have a potential for death e.g. attacks by wild animals or other humans etc. They saw the animal coming towards them and expected an outcome based on past evidence. In turn this generated the reactions that enabled them to respond most effectively with the danger – fight, flight or freeze. This response was however only short lived and only so long as the danger was present.

In modern times there are real dangers too e.g. we get into cars most days and join others on increasingly busy roads, we take up extreme sports, guns and knives are more common than most of us would like and alcohol and drug abuse can lead to many crimes being committed. So there are still real dangers where fight, flight or freeze are appropriate responses. Again these dangers pass – the speeding car narrowly misses you or you land safely with your parachute.

Today we also have a fear of many things that aren’t dangerous and don’t threaten our survival. Fear of: failure, success, public speaking, vulnerability, of being hurt emotionally and so on. Yet they still generate the same fight, flight or freeze response in us. Unlike with real danger, we often sustain the fear for extended periods and this takes its toll as our body is on standby, often for months, to fight or flee.

So how do we release the impact these fears are having on us? There are a number of techniques that enable us to go back to when we first learnt the fear and release it there in the past. Another suggestion is to remember that in these examples F.E.A.R simply stands for False Expectations Appearing Real.

If I stand up in front of an audience I can expect that I will forget my lines, everyone will laugh at me or I’ll fall over or even pass out but these generally have no basis in reality. So the fear generated is not based on reality and very rarely based on evidence either.

So next time you feel the fear write down your expectations or share them with others will help you understand the expectations you’re reacting to and help you see how unlikely and unrealistic they are.

Who wants to be a tadpole for ever?

2009-10-17T14:29:00.009+01:00

I was watching a programme on the TV at the weekend and they shared that frogspawn will not develop if there are insufficient resources in the pond to allow the tadpoles to thrive. They hang back until the conditions are right. They continued to speculate whether frogspawn could survive over winter or if they hadn't taken their chance to emerge before Autumn they would die.

Would you be prepared to take the risk - hang back and hope you survive the frozen winter's ice? Sometimes the conditions might not be perfect, they might not be what we'd wished for but as the presenter said "who wants to be a tadpole for ever?"

Where do you need to just "go for it"?

They just started munching earlier

2009-10-16T19:12:00.010+01:00

I've been finishing writing my book this week (I'm up the creek without a paddle - get me out of here) and have had time to reflect on all the learning I've shared in blogs, newsletters, emails and when using the Frameworks for Change process in coaching and with groups.

One of the highlights for me has been a session I facilitated with other business leaders entitled 'Keeping on track in a downturn'. I was reflecting today which of the key actions I still had to embrace to fully keep out of the creek and on track.

understand and experience team work

connect with our wisdom

express kindness

don't make commitments without the means to fulfill them

have faith

take time to offer support to others

be flexible

don't allow disappointment or resentment to set us back

don't get caught in the rat race to the top

express authenticity

Faith certainly is one - faith that I'm doing everything I need to do to make things happen. I've set a date to review the plan so faith also not to keep stopping and amending the plan but to keep moving forward with confidence.

The other action is to ensure I don't allow resentment or envy and the disappointment linked to these to creep back in. Disappointment that things haven't happened quicker, envy that others are back in their flow already. Of course faith comes in here. Faith that it will happen all in good time - the caterpillar needs to munch a few leaves before the butterfly can emerge. Others just starting munching earlier than me :-).

What about you - which of the above do you need to be more aware of to ensure you keep on track?

A sense of hopelessness and achievement

2009-10-04T09:05:00.001+01:00

When I said I was going to be in a sleeping bag all night for charity people assumed it included a tent but it didn’t. A ground sheet, a mat, survival (or plastic) bag, sleeping bag and lots of layers then me against the elements. The elements sure had a sense of humour in Edinburgh on Friday night – 45+mph winds and rain too. We bedded down at 12 and left at 6. So we were only there for six hours. Four of my team mates shared the same ground sheet, with other teams on other ground sheets within singing distance. I’m not sure an impromptu chorus of “always look on the bright side” was heard but a song about rain was. It was interesting to hear it gather momentum as we all started to sing from within our own sleeping bags at some point in the middle of the night. There were of course others on other ground sheets in 4 other locations around the UK. 700 sleeping bags in total.

At one point I could hear the rain, not dissimilar to what you can hear when you’re in a tent. But this time the rain I could hear was only inches away from my head falling on the survival bag I’d managed to pull over my head by bending my knees. The Byte Night branded wee willie winkie hat, that all 700 of us wore, was pulled down my face. The only part of my face open to the elements being my nose so I could breath. We realised of course when we got up in the morning that the rain we heard had then moved on to the mats and ground sheet and then had nowhere to go. So we woke in pools of water. If we were lucky we were dry although many weren’t and emerged very wet and even colder.

There were some insightful moments I shared on twitter about the connection to nature as I lay there looking up at the moon or that you can hear the wind coming (we had about a minute of hearing it getting nearer and nearer and knowing any moment it would hit us too). But many of the other insights weren’t shared because they came when I was too cold to text and didn’t want to move for fear of the rain or wind then being able to get at me. Insights that some people do this every night L. Imagine not really being able to get comfy enough to fall asleep or the cramps and aches because of how you’d had to sleep to keep dry and out of the wind. What about not getting up to go to the toilet because you know you’d then have to get back into your sleeping bag with all your wet clothes on. Or knowing when you do get up that you’re going to have to dry your clothes and sleeping bag somehow. I had a whole new sense of appreciation for the hand dryer in the toilet the next morning. If there hadn’t been a queue I’d loved to have stayed there longer getting dryer and warmer.

We were there to support Action for Children who support homeless young people. Scotland has a higher percentage than anywhere else in the UK with 15 in 1000 of young people being homeless. We were there for one night. I could get up the next day and throw the wet and soaking sleeping bag, mat and clothes into the survival bag, throw that into the boot of my car, call into Tesco as I drove home, collapse into a nice warm bath and then have a massage from a friend later on. My face that had the brunt of the wind was able to be well moisturised during the day. Similarly my feet that had got wet and stayed wet all night.

Those we were supporting aren’t so lucky. I’m not sure they do get things dry and can’t imagine the physical aches and pain everyday that join the emotional ones of why they’re even there in the first place. So hopelessness in the title because that’s how a night in the rain can make you feel. I certainly understand why people who do this every night can get into a spiral unable to see a way out? I also understand why those who support Action for Children do what they do to help young people out of the spiral.

Achievement because it’s something I wasn’t expecting. As the weekend has progresses the sense of achievement has increased. I didn’t realise I’d feel proud of doing it nor that it would make me realise how much I can do if I set my mind to it. I’d done it to raise money after all (http://www.justgiving.com/caramurphy/) and as a team am pleased we raised over £1.8k and as a location over £45k and increasing.

So today’s call for action is to do something that really feels like it’s outside your comfort zone and realise how much more you can do. If that doing then helps others that’s even better.

Anchor yourself first and oh boy will it make a difference

2009-10-01T12:05:00.006+01:00

I've just come back from Body Combat and it's the first time I've done it since they've changed the floor. What a difference - it just goes to show how feeling anchored and grounded can have an impact on how much effort we put into something?

Previously the floor got very slippy and I really hadn't realised how much I was holding myself back until today. The new floor provided all the support I needed and as a result I was able to really throw myself into it and get into the zone!! My arms are killing as a result mind :-).

It's true elsewhere in life too. It's easy with the current fear that's around the economic situation to do more and more and keep on moving and just as easy to become like a headless chicken too and start going around in circles. My advice from Body Combat is to do what you need to do to feel more supported, anchored and grounded first. Then it will be easier to really throw yourself into doing what needs to be done.

"I should have done it ages ago"

2009-09-30T17:46:00.003+01:00

"Just had the most amazing weekend retreat with Alison. I never imagined that I would find my paddle in a weekend. It has exceeded my expectations. I am so excited that I can’t wait to get home and start.

As a business person applying the model to my work and personal life worked brilliantly and I have come away with a clear plan. It was so constructive, and the walks, talks and sharing the emotion in such a lovely setting with great views made it a weekend I will treasure and should have done ages ago.

Kathleen Findlay
HR Consultant and bereavement councillor"

What should you have done ages ago that could make as much as an impact on your life? My latest newsletter invites us all to shine. So today's call for action is to identify what you've been promising yourself you will do so you can get out there and shine and do it? If you also let me or someone know what it is we can also hold you accountable for taking the action.

I don't want to do it on my own

2009-09-30T17:35:00.006+01:00

"I don't want to do it on my own" has been a comment made in many coaching sessions recently. The answer is of course we don't have to. But we often soldier on and think others will either notice and offer help or think they are too busy, wouldn't want to help or provide some other reason for them not helping. Often we just have to ask - they're not mind readers after all.

So what do you need help with today? Who could help? When will you ask them?

And what do I need help with? I'm currently in the final throws of completing my forthcoming ebooklet "Help - I'm up the creek without a paddle - get me out of here". It would help if I could include in the book some statistics on how many people consider themselves up the creek or not. I've put a poll in LinkedIn and would love as many people as possible to respond. Thanks in advance http://polls.linkedin.com/p/58405/bayza.

What about criteria for success that requires others to not 'like' us?

2009-09-17T08:13:00.004+01:00

In order for a personal training session to be effective and meet my health and fitness goals it requires me to be pushed outside my comfort zone. So in order for my personal trainer to do his job well it's likely that there will be times when I tell him I don't like him and certainly don't like what he's asking/telling me to do. He wouldn't be doing his job if he spent the whole session avoiding me having this reaction.

It's the same with my coaching. There are times when words said really hit home. People have different reactions to this and sometimes that might be words directed at me and certainly energy. Energy that isn't always very positive. If I wanted to avoid this happening I'd have to hold back from saying the very words that would help my client achieve their goals and release what's holding them back.

In both instances Gavin and I are not choosing to say what we do because of our ego but out of care for the other. Our intention is to resolve and improve the situation.

Today's call for action is for you to think of those situations where you're holding back for fear of upsetting someone and decide what action to take and take it.

and sometimes you can do better than your best!

2009-09-16T12:36:00.004+01:00

I knew something would come up in my personal training session! I was reminded by Gavin that sometimes what I think is my best and what I am truly able to achieve are not the same. He reminded me of all the times when I surpassed my own self imposed expectations of myself.

mmm one to think about!

I also find targets re time useful too - if I don't know how much longer I need to hold the plank I'll certainly give up loads earlier than if I know I've only got to hold on for another 10 seconds!

"Winning to me means not giving up" Patrick Swayze

2009-09-16T10:35:00.005+01:00

I had reason to question what winning or succeeding meant to me this week. I believed I was being asked to see success as other's being satisfied with my performance rather than me having done my best. Having achieved a target in advance of the deadline I was being asked not to up the target for fear of us not achieving the new target and being seen by others to fail. In my eyes having achieved the first target we'd won/succeeded anything else we did was a bonus. So I agree with Patrick's words about not giving up - even if we don't always succeed in the eyes of others.

It reminded me of my trip to Australia a few years ago. I went to see an Aussie rules football game at Melbourne. The first half was fantastic with a lot of movement and a great game to watch. The second half was dire! Why? Because one team started to play to win rather than play good football. They became very defensive, stopped passing the ball and didn't seem to want to try to score just keep the ball away from their opponents. I'm sure playing their best would still have had the same result and made for much better game and they'd have enjoyed it too.

So today's call for action - is to stop worrying about other's opinions, don't give up and do your best. You never know you and they might just be surprised with the result.

Although with personal training coming up I'm a little worried about what I will be required to do to practice rather preach today's call for action? Not 16 sets of stairs pleeesssse. :-)

Time to take your foot off the pedal or push it to the floor?

2009-09-11T19:14:00.010+01:00

For the last 6 months it's been one thing after another giving me a reason for not pushing myself aerobically during my regular personal training sessions. Knee and then a twisted ankle etc. Although we have done a lot more weights, stretching and recently more boxing :-).

This week Gavin, my personal trainer, timed me running up and down the stairs for the first time in ages. With 6 months in the abyss I thought I'd have a big job to even get to where I had been a year ago.

Surprise surprise I beat my best time!!!!!!!!!!!

I just stood there and looked at him as the realisation dawned that life is just the same. Sometimes we just need a change of pace, to take the foot off the pedal and to coast a little. When we're ready we can come back even stronger for the rest!

So don't worry if it's time to take your foot off the pedal. Know when the time is right all your current awareness, skills and uniqueness will still be there waiting for you.

Of course for some off us it's now time to rev the engine, push our foot to the floor and see where life takes us. Anyone want a lift?